I am not sure she was planning to escape from the start but it quickly became a realistic option for both. A classic case of culture clash did not help things. Riding high on the wave of media attention and public affection both somewhat overestimated their importance and position within the family and the institution at large. Her rather naive overconfidence was quickly deflated when she realized she needed to conform to something she did not understand let alone embraced. The way they wanted it to go was not the way it works. It was almost like someone finally told her: it will never be about you, stupid! The coin dropped that they would always be the supporting act and have to live off the good graces of a family and a nation which were alien to her.
You need to consider the timing and timeline of events here. The rules on familial title/style as set forth by George V means that those 2 children always were automatically "prince/princess" from the time of Charles's accession last September. So...the timing of all this in recent days? Together with the release of the book, the eviction from Frogmore, the looming coronation and attendant questions regarding their (Sussex) presence or not. As far as your question about the Sussex title granted on the eve of his (Harry) wedding? He knew (and she likewise) what the title/SUBSIDIARY titles would be - accepted same, then mysteriously refused to use them for Archie. I will leave it to you speculate what the motives might be. My own guess - she never had any intention of any longtime life as a "working royal" inside the UK. Where they are now, is exactly what she had on the long-term agenda the minute she set her sights on him.
I would like to think it was " they" not "she" that wanted the style and title extended to their children from the time of birth. I wonder why they never chose to use Pr. Harry's subsidiary title ( Earl of Dumbarton by courtsey), or can that only be used in Scotland and cannot be a courtesy title ??
I think they both knew about the letters patent when she mentioned "George V or VI or something". I'm sure it had been explained. But she stuck with her "campaign" because the late Queen had acted specifically for the titles for all of the children of William and Catherine. She wanted the same for hers. but did not understand the different circumstances of the two families, or wanted to ignore that.
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