Diane, don't beat yourself up. I did a lot of shouldas and a lot of couldas with Shiloh, I was a raging mess after she passed. What helped me was timelining everything, writing it out, letting out my emotions on paper, areas/decisions where I could have jigged instead of jogged and vice versa. The only saving grace is that she didn't leave a grieving companion behind.

But Shiloh even helped with that. After Lulu passed in 2009 I let some time go by and asked Shiloh one day if she would like a new friend to keep her company when I'm gone and omigosh, if you've never seen a tiel have a temper tantrum, believe me, they do. She glared at me, screamed at the top of her lungs, did the threatening eagle at me, stomped her feet and took off flying, shrieking the entire time. Well, I got the message, no friend for Shiloh. I tried one time after that, asking her, same result.

I like seesthru's suggestion about a stuffed bird. There was a local pet store years ago who bred tiels in a room toward the back of the store and sold them. They would hand pull the babies for feeding and keep them in incubators (fish tanks) on the front counters. Next to the babies they put a wadded up soft cloth and a feather duster for snuggling.

Cathy