They are hard to figure out. A stuffed cockatiel would scare Bailey, also, but (was it Seesthru?) said it worked. They are so different.

I know Bailey gets spooked by ANYTHING he perceives as different in his environment. Because my old man has started to slip off of his perch, I ordered some vet tape and didn't pay attention to the bold color of it. So, I had to email them before it shipped and ask them to send some that is beige.

For me, sometimes I feel like I've been tempted to be too "there" in terms of sticking around Bailey. In the beginning (and still sometimes now) I would catch myself hesitating to go anywhere. It is good that you are going to the gym and not being around Max all of the time. Having a plan: Three hours for Max in the AM...three in the PM. It doesn't sound like the guilt you are no doubt feeling is getting the best of you. I know how hard that is since we can't see what others will: That we have done our best with a sucky situation.

Snickers got sick and died pretty suddenly and I can admit NOW that I did see signs and should have taken him to his vet. Also, NOW, I can recognize that I DID do my best at that particular time.

I tend to believe they need to process how to deal with their losses on their own. And...you need to do your best to be there for yourself, too.

What is hard for us, is that it just takes time!

Yes...I often say I don't know how to live in a world without Bailey. I used to think the same when Snickers crossed the Bridge. These two birdies have/had been my tribe/flock for so long.

Be well...

Gina