A history of hair by County's Orson Cartier

Young people today consider that they have the 'monopoly' on so-called 'trendy' haircuts. One only has to take a stroll through Stockport's Mersey Square to note a somewhat bewildering array of hairstyles of which the older generation (me) consider 'daft'. But.... each to their own.

Footballer's have always inspired youths to experiment follically …and I'm not just talking about the 'comedy cuts' of Mr Beckham. No, County players down the years have set some fine examples of 'hair-dos' to keep the borough's younger generation scuttling to the barbers in an attempt to keep up with outrageous fashions.

If one goes back to 1899, Alf Whittleshaw (apps. 0 – goals 0) was almost a fringe player (pun intended) when he lined up to play a pre-season friendly against Adswood Academicals, but during the pre-match kick-in, the referee deemed Alf's haircut as 'offensive to the extreme' and sent him off! One can only imagine what kind of style the player was sporting, but sadly no cameras were at the game. It must have been fairly 'radical' as four women fainted and the opposing centre-half was apparently 'physically ill'.

Throughout the 20s and 30s, the 'Frank Newton' style of haircut was the order of the day. A slicked-back and wide approach was adopted by the forward who used a combination of 'goose-grease' and halibut oil to create the proper effect. Frank, although 'looking the business', had problems keeping cats at bay and was often seem fending off up to 12 felines at a time whilst waiting for the No.17 bus to Reddish after a match.

Fast forward to the late fifties and early sixties and it was the 'quiff' or 'D.A.' (duck's ar*e) that had the ladies knees a-trembling. All over Britain lads were greasing back their hair and jiving to the latest Rock 'N' Roll hits, such as, 'Tie me kangaroo down sport' by Rolf Harris or 'My boomerang won't come back' as sung by the diminutive pop icon that was Charlie Drake.
The problem that players had with the quiff was that goal chances were routinely missed as the ball tended to 'skid' off their bonces and fly hopelessly wide.

The late sixties. The age of the train/flower power/free love and peace (apart from loads of assassinations, Vietnam and Charles Manson).
'Long' hair was the order of the day and although Britain's youth embraced the trend, football-players avoided it, as it tended to obscure one's view and though rakish, took too long to wash.

We now enter the 70s and the era of 'shaped' hair, long but styled, culminating with the hilarious Keeganesque 'bubbleperm'. Amongst all this nonsense, there was a young man who had a vision. A vision to change the very thinking of salon-owners everywhere. His name was Ken Boxhall... but, the fickle-finger-of-fate left his aspirations in tatters as he tore his hair out whilst watching a particularly dire County display in 1976. Luckily, a young pretender was on hand at Edgeley Park to take on the mantle, he was of course, Roger Wylde.
When he first signed for us in the 80s, Rodge was ridiculed by one and all for his beehive, but with the help of Ken, he matured into, not only a fine player, but an exponent of probably the World's first 'Mullet'.
Only recently has this most inventive exponent of 'bonce buffoonery' cut his locks to look 'normal'.

Nowadays, an outlandish haircut is the order of the day to both players and indeed fans. Personally, I'm a fan of the 'serial-killer chic' style of haircut. I spend up to 9 hours a day in Edwardo's of Portwood having my hair 'teased' until I am comfortable 'hitting the streets'. Whilst Liver (of Vic and Liver fame), although balding, won't leave the house without first massaging his scalp with a veritable smorgasbord of aromatic oils, including Yorkshire's rare 'Ow Do Vera' balm.

So there we have it....a concise and historical look at hair cuts through the ages. (You're fired...Ed.).