Think you went to the wrong place as it is cheap as chips to go shopping . Do a bit of wombelling round ASDA pick up the till reciepts and if it was cheaper else where you get a voucher the largest I have had was £20 . My shopping costs nothing . Went for the mot and asked if I could pay in vouchers( ASDA ones) that was a good laugh. You get a £5 voucher from the daily mail when you enter the number off the back page 2000 points is £5 at morrisons free shopping dont have to buy it just look at it in asdawhen shopping .
One for you as you get older .
A couple had been happily married for years the only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every night before he fell asleep and again every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
She would plead with him to stop ripping off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; as she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out, to which, he would only laugh.
The years went by and he continued to blast away! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She warmed the innards just enough to take off the chill, then took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep. Gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a bloodcurdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
"Honey, you were right”, he said, “after all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you. God, I feel terrible."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife, biting her lip.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out and today it finally happened."
"Oh No!" his wife his wife exclaimed, doing her best to hold back the laughter, "are you okay honey?"
"Yea, I'm a little uncomfortable," he said with a moan, "but by the grace of God and some Vaseline, I think I got most of them back in!"
Toodle pip Magic till next time.
Ps you get free non slip socks when in hospital got four pairs could you do with a couple of pairs?
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