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My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Gina on 4/8/2025, 9:45 am

...is going to be with his lifelong buddy, Snickers, at the Rainbow Bridge tomorrow.
This is heartbreaking, of course. However, he has gone blind and unlike Juanita's two, is not adjusting at all. He repeatedly panics as he is unsure of attacks toward him lurking. If I am not right there, this happens. If I walk into another room, for example. He has become this leery of his own cage. He didn't eat for three days from his pellet dish. He is just so sad about perceiving that he is LESS as these changes are coming on rapidly. And they have... I am guilty of letting him hang on for so long, hoping for that adjustment.
Although I just don't know how to live without him, I feel confident (seeing so many changes that I cannot detail here) that I am freeing him from this constant terror of predation due to being weaker and weaker. He is 24 at least, so there are likely aging processes going on as well.
As bird do, he tries to hide it but I see it all as I am here always.
Also, there is also the matter of a molt that will come soon and I recall how much it took out of him last year. I think it will be too much.
I am hoping for support and no judgment if that is possible. We are spending the day with me right there beside him as I am working from home. It is all about us today... I hope I am giving him the gift I think I am.

Thanks for any support you can give us.

Gina

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Seesthru, TC advisor on 4/8/2025, 2:40 pm, in reply to "My boy, Bailey..."

I am so very sorry. It's heartbreaking to have to make this decision. My heart goes out to you and to Bailey. May his transition be easy, and know, we grieve with you. There's no judgement here, You know him, and if his quality of life has gone, then you have to help him into the next phase.

Kow we here, care, and we grieve with and for you.

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Cathy on 4/8/2025, 3:02 pm, in reply to "Re: My boy, Bailey..."

I am so so sorry. I will hold you all and Bailey in my thoughts tomorrow and send light as you bravely go through such a difficult time. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is for all of you watching him go through such drastic changes.

Cathy

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Gina on 4/8/2025, 3:17 pm, in reply to "Re: My boy, Bailey..."

They do go down fast. There was a "slow burn" period where I knew his decline was happening but not so different from my aging self.
Then it SEEMED to become a wildfire.
I feel I was hoping and not thinking of him, though. I saw the signs of his despondency months ago and could/should have connected the dots.
Anyway, thank you. I know you have had an adjustment in not having your girl with you. Hopefully, I will adjust.

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Cathy on 4/8/2025, 4:09 pm, in reply to "Re: My boy, Bailey..."

I don't know that you really adjust as much as the anguish diminishes, and the shouldas, the couldas, the second-guessing, the guilt. It's a hard hard road.

Cathy

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Gina on 4/8/2025, 5:03 pm, in reply to "Re: My boy, Bailey..."

Cathy, I know you know as I believe I remember that Shiloh had to be your last as Bailey will have to be mine.

Add to everything else, the finality...Sigh.

But, I have made videos so I can still hear him sing.

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Gina on 4/8/2025, 3:20 pm, in reply to "Re: My boy, Bailey..."

Thank you, Seesthru. As you know, there is a lot of guilt in this also and I am aware that I am seeing the quality of life and not seeing the physical, aging ailments that are likely in play.
It is not so easy for many to accept the importance of quality of life in all species, really. We are getting better at it, though.
Anyway, thank you for understanding. Gina

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Diane on 4/8/2025, 5:13 pm, in reply to "My boy, Bailey..."

I'm really sorry for your situation. there is definitely no judgement. We all at some point had to make the decision. Again I'm sorry for Bailey.

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Gina on 4/8/2025, 5:25 pm, in reply to "Re: My boy, Bailey..."

Thank you, Diane. I hope Max is doing okay.

Gina

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Cecilia on 4/8/2025, 6:34 pm, in reply to "My boy, Bailey..."

Gina, I am so sorry you are going through this. no judgement - you are doing what you feel is best for him. My thoughts are with you.

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Gina on 4/8/2025, 6:37 pm, in reply to "Re: My boy, Bailey..."

Thanks, Cecilia. I do believe this is the best for him, but oh...not for me. That is the point, though, right: It's about Bailey. Still, I am dreading it tomorrow.

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Cindy AZ on 4/8/2025, 9:49 pm, in reply to "My boy, Bailey..."

I’m so sorry. We’ve had to make that decision, too, and it’s so hard and sad. Grief and relief from suffering really get us feeling guilty and second guessing ourselves.

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Gina on 4/9/2025, 1:25 am, in reply to "Re: My boy, Bailey..."

That is so true, the second-guessing. Thank you, Cindy.

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Nancy on 4/9/2025, 9:08 am, in reply to "My boy, Bailey..."

I am so sorry Gina. Glad you are able to spend precious time with Bailey. I’m sure it is a comfort to him that you are by his side. I think just like people our pets know we are there for them and it soothes them to know we are with them to bear their fears. I have been fortunate to have been holding all my babies with the exception of one while they left for the other side. It doesnt make it easier but somehow it is comforting to hold the one you love knowing they feel your love, know you are there for them and know that your bond will always be there. Dont second guess yourself we all do what we think best for our feathered friends. Take care of yourself.

Re: My boy, Bailey...

Posted by Gina on 4/9/2025, 9:12 am, in reply to "Re: My boy, Bailey..."

Thanks, Nancy.

Our bond is an odd one and certainly not based on touch so right now I am thinking about how to be there with him as he transitions.

I can only hope that he feels the comfort I will do my best to convey but I know he is better with me than without me, even without touch.

Rest Assured......

Posted by Marybird on 4/9/2025, 11:36 am, in reply to "Re: My boy, Bailey..."

Dear Gina, that in your act of unselfishness you are giving Bailey the best gift you could under the circumstances, release from his suffering. I know he knows you loved him and wanted the best for him, and I have to think if he could, he would thank you for this act of kindness.
I know how it tears at your soul to have to put down a beloved pet. We had to put our little sweetheart Hinki, our almost 10 year old parakeet to sleep, last summer when it became evident how much she was suffering from terminal liver failure. This little bird tried so hard to keep on keeping on, staying with us, trying to play, and telling us ( she was a champion talker, and I swear she could do it in context) how much she loved us, but we knew when it was time we had to let her go. We will always miss her.

We're older, and I always thought that Hinki would also be our last bird. Maybe rationally she should have been, but who's rational when there might be a way..... My husband was the one who said we had a home that needed a bird, and I couldn't disagree there. Our daughter chimed in as she agreed, as she's a bird person too, and has always agreed she would gladly take any birds we had when we could no longer care for them.

With that in mind we adopted an approximately 1 year old Fischer's lovebird from our local bird rescue facility ( Parrot Outreach Society) and that is how we came to welcome Lucy into our home. She had been subject to trauma that injured and killed her mate ( I don't know the details) before she came there, and there have been some challenges, but she is a sweet beautiful girl and certainly seems to respond to love, gentleness and attention. We've grown to love her, laughing at her antics, and I think we're all happy that she ended up with us.

My thoughts and best wishes will be with you as you release your feathered friend to the Rainbow Bridge, and the Great Beyond. Mary

Re: Rest Assured......

Posted by Gina on 4/9/2025, 3:10 pm, in reply to "Rest Assured......"

Thank you. If I had any family at all, I believe I would do what I could in terms of adopting an older cockatiel.
However, I have no one who, like your daughter, would step up and take over. That just would not be fair.
Thanks for your kind words. It helps to hear (and it can't be repeated enough this early on) that others believe that Bailey knows I did the right thing.

It all really was quite peaceful and with Bailey being an untouchable sort of bird, I was worried. I was able to see the relief I hope he felt.

Re: Rest Assured......

Posted by Seesthru, TC advisor on 4/10/2025, 9:27 am, in reply to "Re: Rest Assured......"

I'm so very sorry for your loss. You did the right thing for Bailey. There may have been more than blindness going on with him. Maybe his blindness was physically painful, as well as emotionally traumatizing...

I think he knew you were setting him free of his pain and trauma. I know he loved you and knew you loved him. And this may sound crazy, but I believe you will get a sign from him, knowing he is okay, and wanting you to know that...

Re: Rest Assured......

Posted by Gina on 4/10/2025, 11:00 am, in reply to "Re: Rest Assured......"

Oh, I hope so...

Re: Rest Assured......

Posted by Gina on 4/10/2025, 11:08 am, in reply to "Re: Rest Assured......"

And I wanted to add...

A Lap of Love vet came to our apartment yesterday to help Bailey transition and it was all really peaceful and done respectfully and with patience. Bailey just went into a deep sleep with the first injection, but (as he is a bit of a fighter) required a second sedating injection before she felt comfortable giving the final one.

I would recommend them if that is allowed here as they are nationwide.

I need to believe that he is with Snickers now and has met his Uncle Charlie at the Bridge.

Also, thanks to all for your words of support. They've meant a lot.

Re: Rest Assured......

Posted by Cathy on 4/10/2025, 12:14 pm, in reply to "Re: Rest Assured......"

I'm glad that it was a loving and peaceful passing.

I have received visitations from 2 of my birds after they passed.

Cathy

Re: Rest Assured......

Posted by Seesthru, TC advisor on 4/10/2025, 7:27 pm, in reply to "Re: Rest Assured......"

I hope if I have to makethat decision again, that I can find something like this. I hated having to have it doen at the vets when Samson and also when Chloe were so sick and needed some help for suffering. I"d rather , if need be, have it done where they live, where they are surrounded by familiarity and peace.

Seesthru, AGREED: I hope you don't need them but,,,

Posted by Gina on 4/11/2025, 9:41 am, in reply to "Re: Rest Assured......"

Can you Google Lap of Love? I would send the link to you as they ARE nationwide, but am unsure of the rules for this here.

However, again, I hope that you don't have to deal with this

Re: Seesthru, AGREED: I hope you don't need them but,,,

Posted by Seesthru, TC advisor on 4/11/2025, 5:20 pm, in reply to "Seesthru, AGREED: I hope you don't need them but,,,"

I will! Thanks I hope I don't need them either, but it's good to know they are there.

They are in my area.

Posted by Seesthru, TC advisor on 4/11/2025, 5:23 pm, in reply to "Seesthru, AGREED: I hope you don't need them but,,,"

I googled, and they are here, too.

Re: They are in my area.

Posted by Gina on 4/12/2025, 9:15 am, in reply to "They are in my area."

It is a wonderful service despite the pain involved for us humans.

Good to know that you have that option even though my hope is still that it will be a Moot point.

Gina

Re: Rest Assured......

Posted by Cecilia on 4/13/2025, 1:22 pm, in reply to "Re: Rest Assured......"

I think this is a wonderful option. Only one vet shows up in my area and it is over 60 miles away.
How does the cost compare to taking them to a local vet?

Re: Rest Assured......

Posted by Gina on 4/13/2025, 4:00 pm, in reply to "Re: Rest Assured......"

Well, when Snickers died in 2021, my vet charged around $150 for the visit and a communal cremation. However, all of the places I researched that offer this service charge considerably more. This particular one is the most expensive option: $730!!! However, it was worth it to me as I am single and alone. They offer so many other services which are helping me with grieving (and affirming that I am doing it "right", lol). Also, I had made it my mission to never cause Bailey the stress of bringing him anywhere away from his safe place. We did everything we could...grooming, etc. here. My understanding from my vet is that the service was deeply discounted as Snickers died at her office and was moved on from there. That is one HUGE discount, though. Anyway, it worked for us.

Re: Rest Assured......

Posted by Cecilia on 4/13/2025, 7:01 pm, in reply to "Re: Rest Assured......"

Happy to hear you were pleased with this service. I did go back to that site and it appears that there may be more vets in my area. The base price is 490.
So far I have not had to make that decision. But I still have 7 birds!

When tiel Lily died during her surgery, I did have her cremated. The difference in price depended on the urn you chose. I chose the least expensive because I was going to get her another one that I liked from Etsy.

I hope you don't have to engage them...

Posted by Gina on 4/14/2025, 12:48 pm, in reply to "Re: Rest Assured......"

Too, I guess I should have mentioned that what I paid had to do with the fact that I wanted some extra services: Communal Cremation, for one. The base price here is $475. I assume that is if you want to take care of your baby's remains yourself as I imagine many do.
As mentioned, I hope you never have to engage their services, but it is good to have them in your back pocket should that not be the case with any of your SEVEN... Do you have other pets, also? Cats, dogs...?

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