This all mirrors my situation. I live in an apartment that is not "bird friendly" and I have no one to step up for another bird should something happen to me. I so wish I could rescue one. Bailey never recovered and when he DID "age into" some neurological issues that popped up from time to time, he was utterly terrified without Snickers. Yes, I was here, but we were never bonded as tightly as he and Snickers. We both tried, I think, to make it work but it never really did. He ate... He drank... He preened.... At times, he would come to the side of the cage when I sang to him. But, I really felt that after 4 years he was seeing himself as "less than" no matter what. It was heartbreaking, so I feel your pain/frustration, Diane!