1. Lost mom in March, no funeral or viewing .. basically just me, Tom, Mark, Moriah and my 2 grandchildren. Grave service was by the road. Not even up to the gravesite.
2. Still having issues with no real grieving process. I find myself crying when I see something on TV or when I take a shower I "talk to myself " and then I start to cry.
The other night I had a dream my mom called me and I answered the phone. She didn't call me by my name but I knew it was her voice I said,
Mom, I love you !" and she just said " Is this home? " I said yes. Then I asked her if she was with dad and she laughed but didn't answer me. it was very strange to say the least. Her birthday was 11/23 so I don't know if I subconsiously thought about her and then I heard her voice but it was clearly her. She didn't talk directly to me though which depressed me. I had wrote about my feelings in my journal the day before her birthday and wished I could talk to her one more time so
I don't know if i just "wished" her to call me or what. Very strange. The dream caught me off guard. SO many other things I could have said to her !!
3. Still havent sold her house. It's been on the market since Sept. Have to keep dropping the price. Very distressing ! I just want it gone. So please pray someone buys it soon. Tom and I have worked and stressed and tried selling things since Spring and we're so tired of it all. In order to clear enough from the sale of the house I need to get at least $48.000 for it. If not I will lose all the money I've paid into taxes, insurance, and somehow will have to come up with realtor and lawyer fees. Then I will have to turn the house over to Medicaid. Can you believe mom was in the nursing home for just a year and a month and she accrued over $45,000 in expenses !! That's nuts !!! What happens to people who are in nursing homes for YEARS !!!
4. Had to replace our furnace the day before Thanksgiving. It wasn't an outrageous price. It cost $1.900 and I called them in the morning and they were her in 10 min and got our furnace replaced in less than 3 hrs. it will cost another 3,500to add air onto this furnace but right now our air was fixed this summer so unless it goes out we're not adding that just yet.
5. Missing our close knit family gatherings. But too risky for us to get together with my existing conditions and Tom's cancer. Someday....
Well, the weather here seems to be turning. We have a weather advisory for tonight and tomorrow. Maybe significant snow . They are estimating 3-8". That's a broad span so who knows what we will actually get !! I got all my groceries and we are ready to hunker down if needed.
That's all I can think of right off the top of my head but I am thankful we had the money for the furnace replacement and the weather held out so it wasn't cold when they replaced it. (It was raining actually ) It could be worse. It could always be worse !!!
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