Posted by PhilRobbie on November 11, 2025, 11:07:46
…I was wondering what Christmas present experiences fellow Yellowboarders have had? (I’m aware I’m a month early but I’m bored) As a child I remember asking for a bible but on receiving it I found it a dreadfully boring read…I’d sit for ages armed with a dictionary still nonplussed about Genesis (not the band incidentally of which I have always remained nonplussed about) Moving on I became more and more frustrated by the author and I returned to re-reading my ‘Jennings’ paperbacks, the public school life fascinated me as an 8 year old as it was nothing like sitting in a Second World War prefab with no heating learning basic maths with my coat on.
I digress….
I can also remember opening a parcel that contained an Airfix model of a Hurricane! So in the New year’s sales I parted company with my Christmas money to buy paints in tiny pots, some over expensive brushes and some extra glue (these were thankfully the days before ‘Superglue’) and embarked upon the mission of recreating a personal tribute to The Battle of Britain. Of course I became bored of the fiddly bits which increasingly gathered in the horribly paint stained box lid and maybe if I’d had bothered reading the instructions properly I may have not inadvertently glued the pilot upside down. I have to own up to being a bit kak-handed here as I surveyed my 4 times re-painted air craft with wings that were somehow dried at 10 to 4 before I consigned it to the bin.
I can also remember getting a couple of Annuals which were The Beezer (an excellent read) and I suspect a slightly cheaper yearly ‘treat’ in The ‘Broons’ & ‘Oor Willie’ annuals which to me were in Martian, I had absolutely no idea as I ploughed through what I considered misspelled travesties that they in were fact Scottish!
My favourite present was a purple Chopper bike which was eventually nicked from my garden but I at least I had a year whizzing around the the then new, Offerton Estate scaring pensioners on it and remarkably I remained somehow unscathed, I acquired some patent leather gauntlets and thought I looked cool…but as usual I ended up looking like a knob…such is life.
I also remember receiving Leeds Utd sock number tags which were frankly ridiculous and after half an hour of been laughed at they probably can be found at the beck of a cupboard at my parents house.
I’ve previously mentioned my ‘Scalextric’ of which one of the cars caught fire leading to my dad’s brew acting as an impromptu fire extinguisher (I told him it smelt like it was burning and I was correct…it wasn’t ’that new Christmas present smell!’)
There was also a ‘Mousetrap’ game of which I instantly became bored of and was never finished. A mental game called ‘crossfire’ which fired ball bearings from a (as I soon realised was a detachable) red plastic gun…almost instantly confiscated…as was my ‘Stock Car Smash up’ (two cars that were supposed to be thrust toward each other at speed and they’d fall to bits) my problem was my sister was too young…and still sporting a ball bearings bruise so I took to setting them off one at a time from the top of the stairs…this too didn’t last long with my father storming into the hall to demand ‘what the bloody hell I was doing’…fun while it lasted and playing ‘Rebound’ (again involving ball bearings this time made safer as they were partially clad in coloured plastic)…was a more boring option especially as neighbours weren’t invited in with matching jumpers like the advert…. Still managed to somehow scratch the coffee table with one of the ball bearings though.
Don’t get me wrong I had some very enjoyable presents my first Timex and Christmas 1973 a pre World Cup ‘Munich ‘74’ Subbuteo set! It’d be better not to mention the Subbuteo floodlights I spent that years birthday money on though…actually I will …they were crap! I had to keep moving them to ‘flick to kick’ as they kept getting in the way AND I spent money on large batteries that didn’t come with both packs of two expensive sets….but most frustratingly when I invited my mate round for the big switch on, the lights were extinguished and the floodlights individually cast a tiny spotlight on each corner flag….at least it gave my mate (who shall remain nameless) a good laugh….myself and Steve Blomley went on to play some epic tournaments that following year before the World Cup began (minus England…Cheers Poland!!) when we resigned Subbuteo to the cupboard along with my ridiculous football sock numbered tags, Stock Car Smash up, Crossfire and for some reason an untanglable Slinky…to leave the house and recreate Munich 74 with my dads old Casey (don’t head the stitching or you look like you’ve had a lobotomy!)
I realise while I attempt to proof read this back there no County content… but I did have a standard blue and white County scarf my dad bought me from Suggs on Greek Street at Christmas 1971 so there you go dosser before you send round a car!STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Unfortunately I’ve never seen the film. Fortunately I’ve never seen Genesis.STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Certainly brought back a few memories. First being circa 1979 when in bed eyes shut tight in case Father Christmas saw me peeping and vanished with my presents, I heard a clattering on the stairs and laughter then a lot of Shhhhhing and then my bedroom door opening and the presents being deposited at the side of my bed, next thing my probably paralytic Aunt climbed in to the other side of the bed and began snoring that was when I realised Father Christmas perhaps used helpers now and then.
The following year I again waited up, well tried to, I awoke to find the presents at the side of the bed, one was a Missile Invader handheld game which made fantastic beep and explosion noises with no volume control, 3.30 am my Nanna blunders in to the room to enquire as to why I'm making such a bleedin racket at half three in the morning
Onwards to 1983 the rest is fuzzy/bland. .. again I tried to stay up in vain but again found my drunken Aunt snoring next to me in bed at circa 5.30 am, this was the year I got the A Team set complete with all the figures and Van, also a tank with a wired remote, I had great fun setting up the figures alongside my soldiers and launching marbles as missiles from the tank * until I cracked a window pane in my bedroom which cost me 99p and having to assist my Grandad in replacing it (we had those council house windows that had lots of small panes) Also got my first proper casey, of course not the world Cup ball but still.. got in more mither with that for belting it against the wall and saving the rebounds for both the noise and how dirty me and my splendid new replica keeper shirt had become.
That's enough for now, I'm supposed to be working and I'm boring myself even The beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert.
Excellent response sir. STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Just after moving to Worral st (about '55), I was given a Chemistry Set. I recall ruining a pan and the budgie just surviving after trying to make 'stinking gas'. Fortunately, mother came home and dad didn't catch me before I made the back-gate. 42worrall
This revives memories of a similar Chemistry set related incident during the Yuletide festivities of 1972 when an unexpected explosion took place in my mate’s father’s garage. The loud bang was accompanied by a an evil smell which resembled a 12 day old bag of used nappies. As we ran from the rank ammonia stench, out of the corner of my eye, through the smoke I couldn’t help noticing a huge orange burn mark down the side of Anthony’s father’s prized Triumph Herald… ‘that’ll buff out’ I remember thinking…it didn’t and Anthony’s father made haste to the drawer that contained his special ‘Punishment Pump’…a size 13 tennis shoe that had only been used once before (another Yuletide disaster following the ridiculous decision to buy an 11 year old a Christmas Air rifle which after a single shot was hastily confiscated whilst a ‘large’ gentleman neighbour was only minutes into embarking on a New year’s fitness regime but instead of jogging self consciously around the Offerton Avenues he was inadvertently ‘taking a knee’ and screaming obscenities outside the chippy. We were undone by slow air rifle retraction from his bedroom window due to our over-hysterical reaction. He staggered clutching his left buttock, to the front door and grassed ‘sniper’ Anthony up…as he limped away we noticed a small but satisfying blood stain on his arse)… like Lee Harvey Oswald his attempted denial failed miserably and he lost not only a fortnight’s ‘grounding’ but his treasured air rifle…he only shot it once but to my mind it was a ‘golden shot!!STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Much older when I got my air rifle, on to Christmas 1989 now. The cursed air rifle.. Had great fun shooting targets in the garden initially, my mate 'mad Pete' decided to take the game up a level, now you would put on the goldfish bowl style motorbike helmet and run past the target, you win if you avoid being shot. This again worked quite well until the Police driving past took umbridge and confiscated said air rifle asking where our parents were, in a twist of fate somehow the copper knew Pete's Dad and gave it back to him a few days later. I went to collect it and Pete's Dad said you need to cover it up on the way back, he duly lent me his prized snooker cue case to carry it home in, they lived near the snooker club so that seemed to make perfect sense.... however as we walked past the snooker club case in hand there was a bit of mither as we had seemingly stumbled in to an Orange march with the other side lurking nearby, a few older chaps offered me 5 quid for my snooker cue possibly wishing to engage the other lot in a quick game, I duly refused and at that point a bit of a shoving match ensued and somehow the airgun still in the case ended up in the hands of another copper who at this point didn't realise what it was... we both ended up back at Fallowfield station after being identified as the owners, interestingly enough after investigating they decided as we kept it in a case we hadn't committed any real offence * other than being under 18 and carrying it in public. Anyway enough of this I'm off to celebrate our fantastic win with a one air rifle salute 🫡 The beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert.
on November 11, 2025, 11:07:46
that was when I realised Father Christmas perhaps used helpers now and then. 
