…I was wondering what Christmas present experiences fellow Yellowboarders have had?
(I’m aware I’m a month early but I’m bored)
As a child I remember asking for a bible but on receiving it I found it a dreadfully boring read…I’d sit for ages armed with a dictionary still nonplussed about Genesis (not the band incidentally of which I have always remained nonplussed about) Moving on I became more and more frustrated by the author and I returned to re-reading my ‘Jennings’ paperbacks, the public school life fascinated me as an 8 year old as it was nothing like sitting in a Second World War prefab with no heating learning basic maths with my coat on.

I digress….

I can also remember opening a parcel that contained an Airfix model of a Hurricane! So in the New year’s sales I parted company with my Christmas money to buy paints in tiny pots, some over expensive brushes and some extra glue (these were thankfully the days before ‘Superglue’) and embarked upon the mission of recreating a personal tribute to The Battle of Britain.
Of course I became bored of the fiddly bits which increasingly gathered in the horribly paint stained box lid and maybe if I’d had bothered reading the instructions properly I may have not inadvertently glued the pilot upside down.
I have to own up to being a bit kak-handed here as I surveyed my 4 times re-painted air craft with wings that were somehow dried at 10 to 4 before I consigned it to the bin.

I can also remember getting a couple of Annuals which were The Beezer (an excellent read) and I suspect a slightly cheaper yearly ‘treat’ in The ‘Broons’ & ‘Oor Willie’ annuals which to me were in Martian, I had absolutely no idea as I ploughed through what I considered misspelled travesties that they in were fact Scottish!

My favourite present was a purple Chopper bike which was eventually nicked from my garden but I at least I had a year whizzing around the the then new, Offerton Estate scaring pensioners on it and remarkably I remained somehow unscathed, I acquired some patent leather gauntlets and thought I looked cool…but as usual I ended up looking like a knob…such is life.

I also remember receiving Leeds Utd sock number tags which were frankly ridiculous and after half an hour of been laughed at they probably can be found at the beck of a cupboard at my parents house.

I’ve previously mentioned my ‘Scalextric’ of which one of the cars caught fire leading to my dad’s brew acting as an impromptu fire extinguisher (I told him it smelt like it was burning and I was correct…it wasn’t ’that new Christmas present smell!’)

There was also a ‘Mousetrap’ game of which I instantly became bored of and was never finished. A mental game called ‘crossfire’ which fired ball bearings from a (as I soon realised was a detachable) red plastic gun…almost instantly confiscated…as was my ‘Stock Car Smash up’ (two cars that were supposed to be thrust toward each other at speed and they’d fall to bits) my problem was my sister was too young…and still sporting a ball bearings bruise so I took to setting them off one at a time from the top of the stairs…this too didn’t last long with my father storming into the hall to demand ‘what the bloody hell I was doing’…fun while it lasted and playing ‘Rebound’ (again involving ball bearings this time made safer as they were partially clad in coloured plastic)…was a more boring option especially as neighbours weren’t invited in with matching jumpers like the advert…. Still managed to somehow scratch the coffee table with one of the ball bearings though.

Don’t get me wrong I had some very enjoyable presents my first Timex and Christmas 1973 a pre World Cup ‘Munich ‘74’ Subbuteo set!
It’d be better not to mention the Subbuteo floodlights I spent that years birthday money on though…actually I will …they were crap!
I had to keep moving them to ‘flick to kick’ as they kept getting in the way AND I spent money on large batteries that didn’t come with both packs of two expensive sets….but most frustratingly when I invited my mate round for the big switch on, the lights were extinguished and the floodlights individually cast a tiny spotlight on each corner flag….at least it gave my mate (who shall remain nameless) a good laugh….myself and Steve Blomley went on to play some epic tournaments that following year before the World Cup began (minus England…Cheers Poland!!) when we resigned Subbuteo to the cupboard along with my ridiculous football sock numbered tags, Stock Car Smash up, Crossfire and for some reason an untanglable Slinky…to leave the house and recreate Munich 74 with my dads old Casey (don’t head the stitching or you look like you’ve had a lobotomy!)

I realise while I attempt to proof read this back there no County content… but I did have a standard blue and white County scarf my dad bought me from Suggs on Greek Street at Christmas 1971 so there you go dosser before you send round a car!