I’m waiting on Oaf…these days he does as he damn well wants but redeemed himself by stuffing a despondent Hampton into the basket between the handlebars of his works vehicle…Hampton complained that Oaf kept repeatedly slapping him around th head all the way from Preston… but what did the useless midget expect if he can’t be bothered to concentrate on his new job for literally 10 seconds?…the useless little cockwomble!

…but I digress, with the re-emergence of Oaf on board with his Cartier Industries ethic seemingly back in place…I’ve put Stuart on hold for the time being….this is of course dependant on if he wants the job but what person wouldn’t? Free accommodation/free gourmet meals/one’s standing in the community improved immeasurably (not hard for The Dingler to be fair) and of course the prestigious address of ‘The Bin Shed, Coopers Brow, Little Soho, New Berlin, England. (for some reason The Bin Shed hasn’t been issued with a postcode)

Stuart may well strike lucky if say, Hampton was to fall from St. Christopher House aggressively ablaze with The Dingler ‘unintentionally’ placing the crash mat 6 feet to the left of the impact zone and forgetting to bring a fire extinguisher… not that it could happen with my stringent safety procedures in place (sat over the road in The Blossoms pub)…but who knows what random disaster could strike down my crash test Hampton?