She'd been suffering with pain on and off for weeks. It would come on when she ate, if she didn't eat it would subside. Finally the pain got so bad that she went to the long avoided local ER, was transferred to Kaiser Hospital, who insures her, by ambulance. Tests were done and yesterday we got the news. Pancreatic cancer that has metastacized to her stomach and spleen, stage 4.
She is 55, a beauty who looks younger than her years. She is the light in the darkness of my life. I've never been happy with Kaiser Health Plan, they dawdle and take their time that many patients do not have. I had them once and couldn't wait to change. And now she will have to fight a battle with only them at her side.
The shock and sorrow I am going through is huge. My baby is suffering. She is my precious light, the one I entrusted the future to. And the odds are against us.
I spoke last night to a friend who is a 3-time cancer survivor. She thought Kaiser's oncology department was good, but we talked about a second opinion/consult elsewhere. My friend goes to UCLA; Cedars-Sinai has a special department for this; and I read up this morning on the centers for excellence at UC Irvine, and the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix.
UC Irvine advertises they will stop at nothing. I grabbed onto that. Mayo Clinic says they offer out-of-the-box thinking and treatment, I grabbed onto that too. I've already been told the spread prevents a surgery, but the Mayo Clinic has done it on someone with spread.
Nothing is open today. Her primary doctor at Kaiser will be calling her on Wednesday. It may take as long as 3 weeks for the special endoscopy specific to the pancreas, and the biopsy. The biopsy will determine her chemo.
But when? How long will they make us wait? A doctor friend advised that we ask to have the oncology appointment set up immediately, so she won't have to wait an extra time after the endo/biopsy.
I want to die when I look at her, still so healthy-looking, beautiful, clear skin, big green eyes, light auburn shoulder-length ringlets. Oh God, why has this happened?
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