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What would you do?

Posted by Anon on 5/15/2026, 8:40 pm

What would you do? Student can’t walk at graduation because they still owe band fees.

Here’s the background: This is this family’s third kid through the program. They didn’t pay any of the fees from the oldest kid. Someone paid for their fees anonymously so the kid could walk at graduation. The second kid they didn’t pay for either until they were told she wouldn’t walk at graduation unless fees were paid. The current student was only in band his first two years. Over these last two years we continued to send statements to the student email on file but not the parents. We assumed the parents were getting the statements but it turns out they were not. This parent lost their job and is in hard times. At the same time other families have made sacrifices to pay off their debt. They were also told when they registered for band 10 times (4 years with 1st kid, 4 years 2nd kid, and 2 years 3rd kid) that they would not be allowed to walk at graduation if there were fees owed. The parent is starting to get heated in their communications.

What would you do?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Excercise on 5/28/2026, 1:04 pm, in reply to "What would you do? "

Late to the conversation, but I'm of the opinion that the student shouldn't walk. They had two years to pay off the fees. Yes, I understand a parent recently lost their job, but as OP has provided, this seems to be a consistent issue with this family for years.

With that being stated, I would have escalated this to my administrator months ago so they wouldn't be surprised. If they told me to drop it I would. I can't fault an administrator for letting the kid walk. Not worth the drama.

On a sidenote, are bands fees really $1800 these days? I left education a decade ago but that seems EXTREMELY high.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by TYB Host on 5/19/2026, 9:45 pm, in reply to "What would you do? "
Board Administrator

Look folks...it's gotten pretty heated below. I get it, we have rules, there's money involved, etc.

I'll state my opinion and let it fall where it may: I don't think any amount of money is worth it for a kid to hate band/hate music/hate the teacher because the kid was not allowed to participate in the graduation ceremony. None. Nada.

Here's something that some schools do. Kiddo goes through graduation ceremonies, gets the holder that holds the diploma - which is what happens at many graduations. Oftentimes schools mail the actual diploma for everyone paid in full. UNTIL THE TIME that the fines/fees are paid for that kiddo they don't get their diploma and their transcript will not be released.

Can we all agree that this is the best way to do it? It holds the kid/family accountable, but doesn't humiliate them while doing it.

Tim

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Well on 5/20/2026, 5:50 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

I actually thought this is how it was done. Everyone walks, diploma gets mailed (or not).

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Director X on 5/22/2026, 10:42 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

That's how we did it at my high school...and when I got my bachelor's degree at college. The only time I got my actual diploma at the commencement ceremony was when I got my master's degree.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Well on 5/24/2026, 8:18 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

I guess it's changed since our times. Things are usually done for a reason, then someone comes around wanting to change what works.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Ask... on 5/19/2026, 12:59 pm, in reply to "What would you do? "

your principal. Get the final word from the principal and that's your answer.
At this point, it's not the hill to even climb, much less die on.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by UPDATE on 5/19/2026, 9:25 am, in reply to "What would you do? "

We offered 50% payment. Will keep you updated on what happens.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Yep... on 5/19/2026, 1:34 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

And in the real world, this is a solution that does occur. There's the term "Paid in full", meaning the debtor has paid off the entire debt. There is also a term "Paid As Settled", meaning the debtor and the creditor have agreed that a portion of the total debt will be paid, and will settle the whole thing.

Usually, the debtor has to make the first move, contact the creditor and basically say, "Hey, we know we have this debit and we want to take care of it...but here's our situation...can we work something out?" 9/10...an agreement can be reached.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Admin on 5/18/2026, 9:02 am, in reply to "What would you do? "

How long has it been since the first actual communication with the parents over the fees?
Normally I'd say to involve admin at this point and give them all the proof that you'd been reaching out, but if the parents haven't gotten notification less than a month before graduation I would let the kid walk.

It's unfortunate and frustrating because the history you've told us tells us enough about them, but if they really did lose their job recently and just found out weeks before graduation about the fees then it's really out of your hands. It's something to learn for next year.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by 2A HBD on 5/19/2026, 8:16 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

Ignorance of the law(fees) does not excuse you from the law(fees)

Re: What would you do?

Posted by And... on 5/19/2026, 8:36 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

...in this case they knew full well (this is kid #3 in the program) what the law is, and made a conscious decision to flout it.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by percone on 5/18/2026, 8:10 am, in reply to "What would you do? "

how much are the fees, and what did the fees pay for? In the past I have forgiven clothing fees, but never fundraising debts.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by UPDATE on 5/20/2026, 9:05 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

$1800. Fees were for show design, music arrangement, drill, techs, food at games, masterclasses, clinicians, sheet music, copyright fees. Some travel/bus fees, contest entry fees, region entry fee, S&E entry fee, judge fees, color guard flags, shoes, t shirt, polo, udb app fee, etc...

Re: What would you do?

Posted by James on 5/27/2026, 12:55 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

I see nothing beyond shoe and shirts that the kids might need to pay for. If the budget doesn't allow for the other, then it's not necessary. My charts off the shelf, cancel masterclasses and clinicians, do away with techs, and write your own drill. I know none of that is ideal, but it is necessary to be inclusive. I would have never been in band if my parents were asked to pay that.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Me on 5/20/2026, 10:46 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

That should be criminal.

If you can't get by with your budget allocation such that you have to bill kids a thousand dollars a year (or twice that) then you need to scale back to a more appropriate level.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by UPDATE on 5/20/2026, 1:31 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

Budget allocation? You get one of those? We certainly don't.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by ovwrkdnundrpd on 5/18/2026, 7:54 am, in reply to "What would you do? "

WHEN WILL WE EVER HOLD PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE??!!!

We never do. They obviously signed a syllabus or band handbook stating these requirements. But hey, we let them slide past the first kid, second one didn't have to pay anything either. This parent is a firm believer that this will go away just like it did the last two times. Am I right?

And how many reminders do we need to send? We went thru this with the first child, then the second.....what the hell....did anything change. No . So why are we saying they didn't know. They knew thru two previous graduations what the situation was. But that being said, is it worth it to you to fight over this? Thats the bottom line. And only you can answer that? In my younger years I would have said this was a life lesson and I am the teacher. But in my later years I would say this was a parent issue and not a kid issue. Plus, your whold budget doesn't depend on this kids fees right?

At this point the parents have gotten away with it two previous times. They probably think with a little confrontation, they can get by again. I would let them walk and focus on the kids and performance I had coming up.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Hmmmm..... on 5/18/2026, 1:39 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

Where's the "like" button? You've hit the big point with your next to last sentence: most administrators will back you all the way...until a parent starts making threats...then they fold like a deck of cards.

I once had an issue with a parent. It got to the point that she said "I'm gonna talk to the principal about you; what do you think about that?". I think she expected me to wilt like an old flower, instead I said, "Do it. I triple dog dare you". Principal never heard from her.

I wish more administrators had the guts to call the bluff.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Me on 5/18/2026, 7:00 am, in reply to "What would you do? "

Drop it and discontinue asking for band fees from anyone.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Anon on 5/18/2026, 10:49 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

Where do we find the funds to cover that money? Also, what do we tell the other parents who sacrificed and did pay off their debt in order to walk?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Mr. Dude on 5/18/2026, 3:50 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

First of all, it's none of the other parents' business whether this kid paid or not. That info should not be made public.

Second, you fundraise. How do you think us in Title 1 schools with 80+% Free and reduced lunch pay for our things? We don't price our kids out of band.

Many comments here don't live in the real world, I'm glad you have hundreds of kids who can afford a 4-digit annual band fee, but for the love of Christ, don't punish poor kids for being poor.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Okay... on 5/19/2026, 1:26 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

Okay, let's talk about the real world....

You buy a car...you don't/won't make the payments.

In the real world, what happens?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Beagle on 5/19/2026, 3:07 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

Ok, let's make this a real world equivalent.

If your parents used your credit to secure a car loan before you were 18 years old, are you financially liable for it?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Yep... on 5/19/2026, 1:57 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

...and to make this analogy even better:

You buy a car,

You don't make the payments,

You abandon the car while the note is still outstanding.

You are still on the hook for that balance...even though you "quit" on that car months ago.

You try to buy a new car. What bank in their right mind is going to loan you money with a record like that?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Respectfully on 5/18/2026, 12:39 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

Plenty of programs can operate successfully with fundraising and donations instead of requiring huge fees. Ask them how they do it.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Realist on 5/17/2026, 6:18 pm, in reply to "What would you do? "

This is a tough situation. I feel for a parent who lost their job. I don't feel so much for a parent who can't (or chooses not to) keep track of their bills. Sounds like this parent didn't believe you that fees were really a requirement. I collect a lot of fees in May from seniors who didn't believe me that I would keep track of it and they wouldn't be allowed to walk. Last week I waived fees for a kid who has worked hard, done every fundraiser, but his parents are broke. Another kid who didn't do any work, only showed up half the time, never did a fundraiser, mom was a thorn in my side, she gave me a sob story but I didn't back down and they ended up paying (I hope the check doesn't bounce).

That said, I know there's a 50/50 chance if a parent goes to admin about band fees the admin will let them graduate anyway. I do my best to convince the parents to pay, but this is the last thing I can hold over their heads and it isn't consistently enforced if it gets past my level.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Policy on 5/17/2026, 5:49 pm, in reply to "What would you do? "

Does the band, school, district policy state the parent will be emailed as well? If so, you should let them walk. What does admin say?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Anon on 5/18/2026, 8:59 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

No there is no policy on that

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Um on 5/17/2026, 3:55 pm, in reply to "What would you do? "

Why the absolute hell are you taking graduation away from a kid whose parents can’t pay you?

This is beyond ridiculous.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Anon on 5/18/2026, 9:00 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

No one is taking away graduation. They are still graduating just potentially not participating in the ceremony.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Yeah... on 5/18/2026, 7:58 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

...you are right...it definitely is beyond ridiculous...this is the third kid where the parent has refused to pay, knowing full well what policy is, and the financial hardship didn't occur until two years *after* this student left the program in arrears.

The real world won't care if the kid buys a new car and then refuses to pay the car note...the real world will take the car. Actions have consequences.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Anon on 5/17/2026, 9:55 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

They will still graduate. Just not participate in the ceremony. Where do you suggest the money come from? Should the boosters go into debt to allow this person to walk?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Beagle on 5/18/2026, 12:40 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

This kid left the band program 2 years ago. The boosters are already in "debt" because of them.

At this point write it off and move on.

Too many people in this thread that think band is more important than the rest of the kid's life.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by 2A HBD on 5/19/2026, 8:11 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

And in the rest of their life they have to pay their debts or there are consequences. Why is this different?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Snerk on 5/19/2026, 12:50 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

Are the consequences frequently "You don't get to participate in the ceremony for the ONE time you graduate high school" because a kid didn't get a job as a young teenager to pay for band fees that their family couldn't afford?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by And... on 5/19/2026, 8:01 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

...too many people in this thread think it is perfectly OK to not hold people accountable for their actions...and then try to justify it.

The kid has been carrying this non-payment for two years, and this is prior to any hardship at the house. The parents have a history of non-payment, again before any hardship.

People here talk about not being in the "real world". Well, in the real world, how long does a creditor wait before turning a debt over to a collection agency, and hitting the credit report? They don't wait two years.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Me on 5/19/2026, 12:49 pm, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

Please explain how and why a 14 or 15 year old kid can or should be held financially liable for decisions their parents make.

The kid's PARENTS are who are carrying the non payment. Bill the PARENTS. Not the kid.

I'm not saying don't hold the PARENTS accountable. But the KID is just that - a CHILD. At least when this happened. We're well past the days of bootblacks and chimney sweeps, the kid likely couldn't get a job to make the money to begin with.

Many posters here have never been in poverty or in Title 1 schools and it shows.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Questioner on 5/16/2026, 10:35 pm, in reply to "What would you do? "

First, I'd talk to your principal.
Second, when you assume something, you know what that means. A notice should have been sent to the parents rather than the student - maybe even a letter rather than email. After some time, perhaps a certified letter.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Anon on 5/18/2026, 9:01 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

We thought the parents were getting the emails/statements as well but the system we are using we found out does not send it to the parents when the student is marked inactive.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Hmm on 5/16/2026, 3:53 pm, in reply to "What would you do? "

Just let em walk.

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Anon on 5/18/2026, 9:01 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

What do you say to the parents who DID sacrifice things to pay their debt down so they could walk?

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Curious on 5/19/2026, 7:57 am, in reply to "Re: What would you do? "

Nothing. The financial responsibilities of other students is none of their business.

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