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Parent input/request

Posted by ABD on 4/30/2026, 7:52 am

A parent is strongly requesting "drums" for their incoming beginner musician. The musician does not want to audition/attempt any other instrument. The parent "knows how this goes" because they know a director. The silver lining is that they also know about private lessons and will enroll of required.

How you handle parental requests for beginner instrument placement? Case by case, or unilateral approach to all students? TIA

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by i on 5/4/2026, 2:47 pm, in reply to "Parent input/request"

Replace "drums" with "quarterback" and "band" with "football" and this becomes a very easy conversation to navigate.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Mr. Dude on 5/6/2026, 10:33 am, in reply to "Re: Parent input/request"

Cool...

"My kid has been taking quarterback lessons with Steve Young weekly for the last two years, and would like to be a quarterback on your football team"

In reality, we just don't like the attitude with which the parent approached things. Don't take it out on the kid. Meet the kid. You'll make the right decision.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Missed on 5/6/2026, 2:56 pm, in reply to "Re: Parent input/request"

The OP did not mention that the student "has been taking" lessons, only that they are open to getting the student in lessons.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by 2A'er on 5/4/2026, 12:16 am, in reply to "Parent input/request"

I don't start percussionist.
Everyone starts on a wind instrument.
Best behaved and hard worker will get a chance
To tryout later in time to play something
For the christmas concert.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Curious on 5/6/2026, 9:50 am, in reply to "Re: Parent input/request"

I've done it that way for about five years. I'm about to switch back to starting percussion. I did not see any change in progress or retention. In fact, percussion retention went down because students were behind the rest of the band.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Same here on 5/5/2026, 9:45 am, in reply to "Re: Parent input/request"

We do it the same way.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by ABD on 5/5/2026, 3:21 pm, in reply to "Re: Parent input/request"

This seems like the way to go, but there does not seem to be much support for this. Is this at all evident in the 4A, 5A, 6A?

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Me on 5/7/2026, 9:31 am, in reply to "Re: Parent input/request"

Not at all - many 4A-6A schools have a dedicated percussion instructor for each cluster who teaches the classes from beginners all the way up.

I don't know many 5A-6A programs that don't at this point outside of the inner city schools, tbh.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by The way I see it on 5/2/2026, 1:01 pm, in reply to "Parent input/request"

Your mileage will vary, but the way I see it, you really can’t lose here, as long as you can get them to follow the same testing procedure as everyone. If you let this kiddo do percussion, you’ll either have a kid that works out to be a decent or better percussionist, or you were right and they should have played something else.

Still have the student tryout following your process, mine is every student tries every instrument but I take personal preference into consideration, have the parent present and let them see what they do well at. Explain that everyone has to follow the process. But if they’re that adamant about it, the kid will “magically” be best suited for percussion. I guess this ultimately a case by case basis, but the process is the same for all.

As an antidote, I have a friend at another school who once had a beginner test best for tuba. Parent was pushy for saxophone, they compromised on clarinet. That kid ended up being a 4 year all-stater.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by TYB Host on 5/2/2026, 10:16 am, in reply to "Parent input/request"
Board Administrator

This reminds me of what happened to my son:
We moved to Houston when he was entering 6th grade. I emailed the HBD at the school he would be attending to see when my kid could get an audition for percussion. Not a placement - just an audition.

HBD emails and says percussion is closed. We have spots for trumpet or clarinet. That's it. Everything else is full. BTW, don't be like this person.

So I had a meeting with him and the other bds. Said look, try this kid out. If he doesn't pass the test, cool, we will go from there. If he does, I do expect that he will be in that class. We will pay for lessons as well. I was met with some pretty dumb retorts:
1) Why wasn't he tested at his previous school? We knew we were coming to Houston.
2) Why should we do this? Because its the fair thing to do.
3) What do I say to other parents whose kid missed the test? I don't know. My job is to advocate for my son. It's your job to figure that stuff out.

I had to talk with the principal, who was very reasonable. Much more so than the HBD.

Skip forward - that kiddo graduated last year as the Front Ensemble Captain.

Bottom line - have guidelines yes, but be flexible in what you can do, as there is always a new situation that you might not have expected.

Tim

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by ovwrkdnundrpd on 5/2/2026, 6:53 am, in reply to "Parent input/request"

Whatever you are willing to do for this student, you have to be willing to do for every student. We have auditions and if they don't make it and refuse to play something else, then that is their choice. But if I make an allowance for one it is for all. I don't want to end up with 30 percussionists like it was when I took over. When I got here there were 15 percussion and 2 of everything else.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Yep... on 5/4/2026, 2:57 pm, in reply to "Re: Parent input/request"

...agreed. While it's nice to be able to put every kid on the instrument of their dreams....

1. They might not be suited for that instrument,

and,

2. The director has to have the best interests of the band as a whole in mind. 30 percussionists, 3 clarinets, and a trumpet aren't a band...that's 30 percussionists, 3 clarinets, and a trumpet.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Questioner on 5/1/2026, 11:12 pm, in reply to "Parent input/request"

If you have procedures in place for everyone else, you'd better not give in to this parent.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Brkt87 on 5/4/2026, 3:46 pm, in reply to "Re: Parent input/request"

This ^^^^ !

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Pretzel Guy on 5/1/2026, 7:21 pm, in reply to "Parent input/request"

We tell all the kids that they need to try at least 3 instruments to complete their try out.

If they don't score well enough to be in our percussion class they usually just quit. If they can audition ok then have them take lessons.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Snerk on 5/1/2026, 2:29 pm, in reply to "Parent input/request"

That kid won't be in band much past 7th grade anyway - do what you like.

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Well on 5/1/2026, 12:34 pm, in reply to "Parent input/request"

I think it's a case by case basis, and not something that is announced to everyone. But really, if they are willing to get the kid lessons, then sure, why not?

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by ForeverN00B on 5/1/2026, 11:04 am, in reply to "Parent input/request"

First, go ahead and test the kid and be honest with the parents with the student's natural abilities. If they're sub-par explain that they will have a serious uphill battle, and push private lessons strongly. If they don't meet expectations, keep an open dialogue with parents, and do everything you can, reasonably, to help them be successful. It will work out one way or another in the end. I know a kid who was like that a few years ago, and it took until their sophomore year to start shining, but became a super strong player in the band and became a band director after college. You just never know!

Re: Parent input/request

Posted by Forms on 5/1/2026, 10:14 am, in reply to "Parent input/request"

We've usually tested our kids out and gave them the top three they were successful at. Sometimes the parents like the choice to get that feeling of having a say.

For percussion, we used to do tests and if parents argued we would show how they did on the rhythm tests and what the minimum score needs to be in order to be percussion.

Of course, it can all be for naught if your admin won't back you up. Whatever you do make sure they're with you.

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