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What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by Assistant Band Director on 2/16/2025, 9:12 pm

Greetings,

What should a weekend or holidays look like for an assistant band director? I currently feel like my Head Director expects for me to be planning or communicating at all times even when I am on vacation with my family. I am currently struggling with finding out what the true balance of at home and work should be. I understand that I am an extracurricular activity, but what should a healthy balance look like?

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by MS on 2/21/2025, 8:18 am, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

Each program is different and has different expectations for its staff.

Some programs want to win at all costs and that requires personal sacrifices. If you are in that environment and would rather a more balanced approach at life, I would suggest finding a new job.

Winning isn't just about trophies on the wall. Having your own identity outside of work is also a huge win, probably even more so. That's a matter of opinion, and I'm sure some people would argue me.

Our jobs shouldn't be our only identity.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by Exercise on 2/19/2025, 11:02 pm, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

If there are no band activities planned for that evening or weekend, they can wait until the next school day for my response.

Establishing boundaries it perfectly acceptable.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by (not your) head director on 2/18/2025, 11:57 am, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

If it's the weekend and we don't have an event, I'm mostly doing anything but band. We spend enough weekends busy with events. Non-band weekends are for my family.

Sometimes I take an hour or two to catch up on things or plan the next week. I might email my staff, but I have no expectation that they will email me back until Monday. If it's something that can't wait for Monday morning I'll send a text, but those are not very common.

Getting a stipend does not mean you are on call 24/7.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by Dosed on 2/18/2025, 11:40 am, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

My weekends and holidays are mine to do as I please.

My head director respects my time and for that, I'll probably never leave him

. Probably related, work is really fun too.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by Pretzel Guy on 2/18/2025, 11:37 am, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

They should look like you taking care of yourself and your family whatever that looks like.

Vacation is just that. I went on a cruise this year, it was great because no one could bother me.

Technically these are times outside of your contract and probably stipend hours (since we're out of marching season). Let your HD know you want to take your non-working hours seriously.

That being said, make sure your ready for the week ahead, whatever that looks like for you.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by older than dirt on 2/18/2025, 11:30 am, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

communicate with the Head director about his/her expectation. I once worked on a staff that had staff meetings on Sunday afternoon. It was a struggle. We modified the meetings to posting weekly assignments and having suggestions via email and memos. Yes we worked in the same office, but the head wanted documentation for review. Take the time to figure out how to accomplish tasks efficiently. Remember the more you do, the more time it takes.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by 4A on 2/18/2025, 8:28 am, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

When I'm off duty, I'm off. I can set times up to be available, but family time is family time. Personal time is personal time. It's not a completely hard line - I don't mind a quick email or text, but generally I only work when I'm at work and I have the same expectations towards the assistant band directors and staff in our program.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by Warhawk on 2/18/2025, 8:11 am, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

This job doesn't pay overtime. Your time off is your time off. Come in 30 minutes or so early or stay 30 minutes or so late, but leave work at work.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by Bill on 2/18/2025, 7:01 am, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

You time and/or family time is very important for your own sanity and the wellness of the family. You need R&R to recharge and put band aside. We put in enough hours on Mondays through Fridays.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by Response on 2/17/2025, 7:19 pm, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

In my opinion, you're on the clock for your clock time, and for any scheduled out-of-school commitments, such as contests, concerts, or marching activities.

At EOD Friday, I don't check my email again until Monday morning. I'm not available on the weekend, full stop, unless previously arranged. Literally nothing will happen on Saturday at 2PM that I can do ANYTHING about until Monday morning ANYWAY, so why check email or even worry about it?

Your HBD may be a workaholic, but that doesn't mean you have to be.

ALL that being said - find a new job. Your HBD and you have incompatible work ideals, and you won't ever agree.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by Authority on 3/13/2025, 8:43 am, in reply to "Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

Exactly this.

A head director quite literally does not have the authority to dictate what you should do outside of your contract time/scheduled events. I'm saying this as a former head director. A principle does not even have this authority. Heck, a superintendent does not have this authority. While we need to respect the positions, we have a really bad habit of forgetting that we are all professionals with contracts and that another person, just because they are a program head, does NOT get to dictate every aspect of your life.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by me on 2/17/2025, 4:27 pm, in reply to "What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

I spent over a decade and a half in the profession, including as a HD of a large 6A program, and I can tell you—the number of unhealthy work habits in this profession is staggering. Choosing to leave the band world was difficult, but situations like what you just described remind me how toxic it can be.

I have a job now as an executive in corporate America. It has just as many demands—if not more—than taking a group to the SMC, but professional boundaries are a non-negotiable expectation. The number of things we do as band directors that would be considered absurd in many other professional fields is ridiculous. Honestly, it took me a while to reprogram myself from the mindset that I had to be "on call" 24/7.

Since COVID, we've seen some of the best young talent in our profession choose to leave. Many of us have realized that while we love teaching and love the kids, the personal sacrifices that were ingrained in us as "normal" by the old guard don’t have to be.

To answer your question directly—you have an absolute right to set boundaries. This job requires long hours and hard work, but success comes from working smarter, not just harder. Yes, there will be responsibilities outside of the school day, but if you don’t set boundaries now, it’s unlikely anyone else will for you.

Hopefully, head directors and the broader band community will take a hard look around and recognize that unless major, systemic changes are made, the profession is heading toward a cliff. It’s time to shift the mindset of what’s "normal" before more talented educators walk away.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by Percguy on 2/20/2025, 1:35 pm, in reply to "Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

I couldn't agree more with this. I spent 18 years as a HS Band director in Texas (11 of them in 5A & 6A schools) and hit a breaking point in 2023. I moved out of state and now teach MS Band in a state with a strong teacher's union. It took me getting out of that teaching environment to realized how utterly toxic it was with the demands on personal time and relentless focus on competition and comparison. Now, all notifications on my phone that are work based turn off outside of school hours, and for any expectations for me to work outside of normal school hours, I am paid an hourly rate every single time.

One of the best things I've ever done for my self was to remove work email and notifications from my phone. Before I did that, every time I got an email notification in the evenings or on the weekend, I was checking it and thinking about work. That is a choice, OP, and you don't have to make it. You have to set your own boundaries. You will get pushback; that's why they are boundaries. The Texas Band Director field is full of workaholics who use their jobs to avoid bad home lives or their career to find personal fulfillment. Many of them expect others to make those same choices along with them. You don't have to.

Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like?

Posted by Um... on 2/21/2025, 10:04 am, in reply to "Re: What should your weekends and holidays look like? "

home life... what's that?

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