I spent over a decade and a half in the profession, including as a HD of a large 6A program, and I can tell you—the number of unhealthy work habits in this profession is staggering. Choosing to leave the band world was difficult, but situations like what you just described remind me how toxic it can be.

I have a job now as an executive in corporate America. It has just as many demands—if not more—than taking a group to the SMC, but professional boundaries are a non-negotiable expectation. The number of things we do as band directors that would be considered absurd in many other professional fields is ridiculous. Honestly, it took me a while to reprogram myself from the mindset that I had to be "on call" 24/7.

Since COVID, we've seen some of the best young talent in our profession choose to leave. Many of us have realized that while we love teaching and love the kids, the personal sacrifices that were ingrained in us as "normal" by the old guard don’t have to be.

To answer your question directly—you have an absolute right to set boundaries. This job requires long hours and hard work, but success comes from working smarter, not just harder. Yes, there will be responsibilities outside of the school day, but if you don’t set boundaries now, it’s unlikely anyone else will for you.

Hopefully, head directors and the broader band community will take a hard look around and recognize that unless major, systemic changes are made, the profession is heading toward a cliff. It’s time to shift the mindset of what’s "normal" before more talented educators walk away.