The things you want to change, but can let go, let them go. Here is where you try to convince the students who are on your side to hold to the standard you want, but there is no punishment for not being held to that standard. Once you get enough on your side (that make take years), then you implement the standard on everyone.
Take your licks like a man. Often times, parents just want to vent. I remember I had a meeting with admin a parent and a student. We agreed that we were just going to be teflon and let them vent. Once they got everything out, we told them what our action was going to be. They commenced arguing again and we let them get more of it out. You told them again what we were going to do. They weren't happy, but there was nothing more they could say.
Remember, you are working with people. Sometimes to work with people, you have to let go of standards that you can let go of. I am not suggesting you let it all fall by the wayside. I have found myself so often in the chase of band excellence that I am working with people.
I hope this helps and I will pray for you.
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