Hi everyone,

So I'm in year 3 at my current role. When I was first hired as a high school head director, things were great. My predecessor was notoriously a huge jerk, so it almost seemed like the entire campus and community celebrated my arrival. One thing to note about him was that he was here for over a decade and saw a lot of success in his program. However, that last few years that he was here, the program was starting to tank. Numbers were going down significantly and placements in contests were dropping. That is what ultimately led him to leave. On his way out, he made sure to sabotage the program as much as he could, including doing things like going to the middle school and convincing incoming freshman not to join band. He wanted to make sure that whoever took over his program looked bad compared to him. And it kind of worked because I struggled a bit to pick up the pieces after he left.

It seems like as soon as we started going to contests and receiving lower placements (we were still being pretty competitive, however), the community sentiment towards me seemed to change.

All of a sudden, I was having kids quit left and right, students were acting out towards me, parents were angry with me for any little thing, etc. One thing that I got put under fire for was my communication skills. I vowed to do better for my parents (and did), but it seemed like it was never enough. Even my admin admitted "Thats funny because the guy before you didnt communicate AT ALL".

My mentors kept assuring me that it would take some time before I'd win them over. But it seems like 3 years in now and its just getting worse. I have one group of parents in particular that are trying to turn all of the other parents against me. Those parents that are on my side tell me all about how they have a group chat that is just complaining about every single thing that I do and trying to find something to get me fired. It seems like I'm getting yelled at daily by parents for simply adhering to the expectations and guidelines outlined in our handbook (that has their signature on it). And other things that are outside of my control, such as the UIL no pass, no play. It always seems to become my fault when I have to tell their child that they cant perform because they failed a class.

Things hit a boiling point last week when a student told me in the middle of class that he wouldn't be going to solo and ensemble because it was a "waste of time". When I assured him he was still expected to be there, he yelled and cussed me out in front of other students. As a result, I had to write him up. His parents were furious. When they talked to admin they said "why should my son be punished when he was just standing up to incompetence?" Admin had my back (they always do), but thats not enough to change these parent's minds about how they feel about me. That student quit band, but made sure to say all kinds of things about me on his way out to all of the other students. Now I'm seeing all kinds of new attitude problems, hearing kids talk in the hallways about how awful their band directors are, and hearing new rumors of kids wanting to quit.

I'm getting really exhausted with it. By my nature, I'm not a confrontational person. I try to treat everyone with respect, regardless if they are treating me the same. I always try to compromise if I can, etc. It's hard having my character attacked on the daily. I start to second guess if I'm a good band director/person. In my last job, it was the complete opposite. The students and community seemed to celebrate me and really made me feel like I was making a difference.

What hurts the most is hearing people talk about the "glory days" of my program when the previous director was here. He was a person that treated everyone like garbage (and ended up getting fired in his new job for embezzling money). And quite frankly, never really even did anything besides talk down to people. He was lucky to have incredible assistant band directors with him that essentially did everything. All of these people didnt last with him and quit, all citing him as the reason they couldnt stay with the program any longer. Being compared to a person like him and seeing people celebrate him as a hero while I'm the villain really crushes me.

I think I'm half venting/half seeking advice. I'm not really sure if there's any solution besides just staying the path and waiting it out. But at this rate, I dont know how much more I can take.