There's been some research into decision fatigue, I think that affects us as band directors a lot! Thinking about your day as a teachers and all of the normal interactions you have with students, discipline, adults, parents, etc. and you're already there. This time of year you have to pile on having ensembles in front of you where every single chord, note, etc. you're constantly analyzing and deciding 'is this the day to fix that?' 'Did I just hear a wrong note?' 'Whoa, why is that balance bad?' etc. constantly!

It's overwhelming even when you've been teaching twenty plus years!

I think the biggest part is what you're saying about the 10.5 hours a day, and then working another hour. Leave work at work as much as humanly possible. Leave early one or two days a week compared to normal. Go home and do things that aren't band!

I learned a secret a long time ago that I tell principals too when I see them sitting there at 6pm trying to get things done still. That pile on your desk never really goes away. The to do list will ALWAYS have things to do on them. Go home, it'll be there tomorrow, and most of the time it WILL wait for tomorrow!

Your mental sanity and health are worth taking care of.

As far as the parent questions? Sometimes that may be your admin situation. Without knowing more about the situation I can't give you more specific advice there. Not every admin is created equal, and not every community is the exact same. Depending on your circumstances this may be a sign it's time to air up the tires and move on at the end of the year to another job too.

Good luck and hang in there!