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Overwhelmed

Posted by MS on 1/21/2026, 8:13 am

Do you ever just feel overwhelmed?

Dealing with all the events and parent questions and dealing with conflicts and feeling like people never put you first, that you are always the one that has to compromise?

I'm at school 10.5 hours a day, I go home and work for another hour. I work on weekends.

I feel like I'm drowning.

Re: Overwhelmed

Posted by DesertJazz on 1/22/2026, 6:08 am, in reply to "Overwhelmed"

There's been some research into decision fatigue, I think that affects us as band directors a lot! Thinking about your day as a teachers and all of the normal interactions you have with students, discipline, adults, parents, etc. and you're already there. This time of year you have to pile on having ensembles in front of you where every single chord, note, etc. you're constantly analyzing and deciding 'is this the day to fix that?' 'Did I just hear a wrong note?' 'Whoa, why is that balance bad?' etc. constantly!

It's overwhelming even when you've been teaching twenty plus years!

I think the biggest part is what you're saying about the 10.5 hours a day, and then working another hour. Leave work at work as much as humanly possible. Leave early one or two days a week compared to normal. Go home and do things that aren't band!

I learned a secret a long time ago that I tell principals too when I see them sitting there at 6pm trying to get things done still. That pile on your desk never really goes away. The to do list will ALWAYS have things to do on them. Go home, it'll be there tomorrow, and most of the time it WILL wait for tomorrow!

Your mental sanity and health are worth taking care of.

As far as the parent questions? Sometimes that may be your admin situation. Without knowing more about the situation I can't give you more specific advice there. Not every admin is created equal, and not every community is the exact same. Depending on your circumstances this may be a sign it's time to air up the tires and move on at the end of the year to another job too.

Good luck and hang in there!

Re: Overwhelmed

Posted by Questions on 1/21/2026, 5:32 pm, in reply to "Overwhelmed"

What are you doing those extra hours? What's your class schedule? Do you have assistants? Are you the assistant? Whats your schedule that you're at work 10.5 hours a day? I taught middle school for 5 years and don't remember working 10.5 hours. I was head 2 years. Yes, we got sweepstakes. Yes,I had region students and students who earned 1's at s&e. How long have you been teaching?

Re: Overwhelmed

Posted by No on 1/21/2026, 10:04 am, in reply to "Overwhelmed"

Know when to say "NO". Also, you being "first" is the wrong reason to be in education. You should not be "first". The student should always be "first". Don't take it personally. The sun will still come up tomorrow.

Re: Overwhelmed

Posted by OP on 1/22/2026, 1:59 pm, in reply to "Re: Overwhelmed"

I didn't mean "me" specifically, I meant band. When kids have a conflict it seems band always has to be the one to compromise. It's not always equitable and the kids just skip because they would rather not come to sectional and go to soccer practice.

Re: Overwhelmed

Posted by Respectfully on 1/23/2026, 9:08 am, in reply to "Re: Overwhelmed"

What consequence is there for missing sectionals? A dropped grade, perhaps?

What consequence is there for missing practice? They run laps (to make up for "missed conditioning" which we all know is bullsh) and could be kept out of the game for an extended period.

You need to speak with your athletic director and head coaches and come up with a policy that makes it activity-neutral for a kid to miss practice for one event over the other - and yes, that means you may have to change your policy too. Then hold those coaches accountable to following the policy.

Band is going to take a second chair to sports in 99 of 100 towns. You could also consider moving sectional times to better accommodate the athletics schedule. If they have practice after school, have sectionals before school.

Re: Overwhelmed

Posted by Been there on 1/23/2026, 8:54 am, in reply to "Re: Overwhelmed"

I have similar frustrations with sports conflicts. I've become very strict on this, and have worked it out with coaches. I expect kids to split the difference. My soccer kids skip band 1/week and go to soccer, they skip soccer 1/week and go to band. Football boys leave early from football and that gets them to marching band late. If the kids don't respect that arrangement then they lose points on their grade (unexcused absences from rehearsal) and might lose their marching spot to an alternate. Sometimes coaches are jerks about it and I have to involve administration to ensure it doesn't hurt their playing time.

I've lost some kids due to this. It's addition by subtraction. I'll take fewer kids with better work ethic and dedication every time. The kids who only show up when they want to can go play football instead.

Re: Overwhelmed

Posted by Disagree on 1/22/2026, 8:32 am, in reply to "Re: Overwhelmed"

I understand the sentiment. But I disagree. Everyone deserves to be put first at one point or another. This is the kind of toxic rhetoric that lazy admins push on teachers: "Oh we KNOW youll go the extra mile. We know youll do whatever it takes, etc."
Refusing to put yourself first is why so many people burn out. It is possible to treat your employees like they are more important than someone else every now and then. In fact, it helps to prevent burnout.

Re: Overwhelmed

Posted by Me on 1/25/2026, 9:21 am, in reply to "Re: Overwhelmed"

Great response!

Re: Overwhelmed

Posted by Sympathy on 1/21/2026, 9:48 am, in reply to "Overwhelmed"

It's perfectly natural to feel overwhelmed, especially with a job like ours. It can feel like you're being tugged in every direction, and if you don't go past your limits people will go after you or think poorly of you.

Is there a reason you're working at home and during weekends? Does everything you do HAVE to be done right then and there, or can it wait for some office time the next work day? Make an absolute cut off time each day where all work halts and you focus on yourself.

It's okay to have time for yourself and away from work. You're human too. Making that boundary with work will also help potential student leaders see the importance of taking care of themselves when things get stressful.

I also guarantee you this'll get easier. You see what's happening now with the questions and compromises and you'll have better ideas on how to handle them next year.

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