County's very own gossip columnist and rumour-monger Orson Cartier reports!
A rumour circulating the wards here at the Levenshulme Clinic for the Permanently Bewildered is that Stockport County Football Club could soon be on the move with the Shetland Island of Noss emerging as a clear favourite with a consortium of celebrity investors.
From what I hear, a 52,014 all-seater stadium will be built on the popular nature reserve. Work will have to be done to drum up local support as the island has lain uninhabitable by humans for at least 70 years, lest for the odd enthusiastic birdspotter (twitcher) and very drunk channel swimmer.
The celeb consortium which could boast such luminaries as Lionel Blair, Bernie Clifton (complete with comedy ostrich!) and Michael Fish, have apparently sunk millions into the re-development of the island.
One drawback is that it could take up to 2 days to travel from Stockport to Noss (depending on the ferries and weather)... Stout shoes and waterproofs will be the norm for future generations of County fans.
In other news -
It's emerged that County's record-breaking ex-keeper Wayne Hennessey might not be Welsh! Although he's the proud owner of 26 Welsh caps, a close source (who may be unreliable) has revealed to me that Wayne's birthplace of Bangor may be the Irish version.
If the above is true, all honours that the Welsh football team have recently won will be expunged from FIFA records.
News reaches me of a possible re-formation of Rodger Wylde's Britpop band 'Fracture'. Rodger has apparently commandeered ex-County players, Hughie Ryden, Phil Kyte and Mickey Wardrobe to help form a 'Superband', and with the help of long-term County fanatic Hank Marvin on guitar, Rodger's days as physio may be short-lived as chart-topping success can only be just around the corner! Future concerts already rumoured to be pencilled-in include, Hammersmith Odeon, Wembley Stadium (3 nights!), Madison Square Garden (matinee only) and Gregg Street Working Men's Club (open mic night). Good Luck Rodge!
After completing this year's sponsored walk in a (somewhat disturbing) Lycra/Spandex body stocking, Pete Liggins is allegedly nursing 'chafed' knees. The Pure FM matriarch has to broadcast with bags of frozen veg strapped to his knees with gaffer tape. Poor Pete has not worn his favourite flared jeans since a week last Friday as the pain has become unbearable. To continue working he has to arrive at Pure FM headquarters at 4am, run, minus his strides to his studio, lock himself in until 1am the next morning and then hotfoot it back to his car hopefully without being spotted.
Get Well Soon Pete!
Note: All the above 'news' is almost certainly 'nonsense'. (Why are you still here??…Ed)
(Torquay program 2010) STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Re: Part 6
Posted by TheRealExile on July 26, 2025, 14:19:33, in reply to "Part 6 "
The beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert.
on July 26, 2025, 0:03:55
