Due to a technical fault during rehearsals for the upcoming ‘COMBS AHOY!’ musical extravaganza this coming Wednesday, I’m urgently in need of a sparks after I went live this afternoon. With Oaf, The Dingler and the freshly discharged from Stepping Hill Hampton about to begin their first song ‘Blow the Man Down’ I’m afraid I accidentally ‘blew the men up’ as I switched on the electric current with a flourish I suddenly realised that I’d connected them to DC as opposed to AC.
All hell let loose and the balloon went up badly as the tin foil welded itself onto the lips of my artistes. The screaming that pierced the air could have disturbed my neighbours peace so I obviously had to subdue them with a piece of wood (with 6 inch nails) instead of perhaps turning off the power.
It took four hours to prise off the aluminium foil with hot water and sponge (except for Hampton as The Archers was about to start and I was running out of time and patience so I obviously ripped his foil straight off…the silly little coward was already wailing as I began my run up!)
Anyway all’s well that ends well and you’ll be pleased to know that the blisters will be ok for the big event! Let’s just hope Hampton regains consciousness soon as I have him pencilled in for a 45 minute solo version of Drunken Sailor!
Pogo stick endurance begins tomorrow.
Anyway the reason I need an electrician is because of the turmoil with my electricity. All the fuses blew, I’ve fixed that myself by using the copious amount of tin foil from the rehearsal room (bin shed) The problem is, I’m worried my kettle might not work so a bit of advice would be useful as I can’t be bothered heating up a pan of hot water for my cast’s Pot Noodles. Thanks in advance. STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Something I would not normally recommend, is use a bit of welding wire (should know someone with a bit). Should last quite well, though if there is a fault you may find your in house cables will melt first. If you've still got your Grannies old aluminium whistling kettle in a cupboard somewhere, hang that on a bit string near the fuses. The excess heat from the fuseboard (an 8-way would be great) trying to blow should boil the kettle pretty quick. Though I must point out in all fairness the board might blow first. The downside of this would be sharing the shed with Oaf etc. As it may take sometime to make your house habitable again. 42worrall
I forgot to mention…oaf is no longer a resident in the bin shed as he’s gone rogue and although he’s still on my payroll he does what he damn well likes and cannot be told what to do. A new gentleman begins his trial in the bin shed tomorrow, Diminutive Dave passed the interview process due to the fact only he turned up. God knows how the hierarchy will pan out as Diminutive Dave can be considered somewhat volatile. I’ll keep you posted!STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Believe me I WON’T be sharing the bin shed with The Dingler or (god forbid!) that little whinger Hampton. If any damage is done to my rooms I’d simply re-locate to The Holiday Inn, it goes without saying that I have an account there. STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!