YES, THAT’S RIGHT! Cartier Industries will be hosting a musical evening on Portwood Roundabout this coming Thursday evening with the stars of Cartier Industries playing a selection of well known melodies throughout the evening.
First up will be The Dingler entertaining us with his version of discotheque greats delivered with aplomb on his concert spoons! His set list includes such masterpieces as Earth, Wind and Fire’s ‘September’, Sir Cliff’s excellent ‘Wired For Sound’ (rumours of him delivering this timeless classic on roller blades have unfortunately proved unfounded as the complicated dance moves would play havoc with his piles) and a 47 minute version of the Donna Summer Hit ‘I Feel Love’ in which The Dingler screams the last 10 minutes incoherently such is his raw passion for the song!
Time for an interval where we can get our breath back and purchase Cartier Industries of Stockport t- shirts.
And then…without further ado we present live on his bike OAF the only man who has mastered the spoons and eats a selection of Steak Bakes, Sausage Rolls and a varied selection of pies and pasties whilst balancing precariously on his trusty riding iron! This magnificent spectacle has to be seen to be believed! Halfway through his act he literally disappears from view in a cloud of Greggs crumbs!
You’ll still be agape in awe at the stupendous spoonage of Oaf when it’ll be time for our headline act….
DRUM ROLL PLEASE FOR HAMPTON on his SPACE HOPPER!!! (with spoons)
THAT’S RIGHT! you heard correctly! The pocket sized mystro will hop around like a lunatic playing instrumental punk songs from the 70’s & 80’s be prepared for him joining the audience for ‘The Damned’s ‘Smash it up’ where I urge you to create a violent mosh pit to show him your appreciation…and remember, hit him as hard as possible no matter how much he complains! He secretly loves it!…it’s part of his act.
His encore consists of a weirdly tear jerking performance of the Lou reed classic ‘Perfect Day’ which ends with him bouncing into oncoming traffic where the Paramedics will then tend to the useless little waster.
Time for a last visit to the Cartier Industries merch stall then head off home to ponder just what the bloody hell you’ve just seen. Another evening of laughter and tears with an exciting smattering of violence I’ll be bound!
Pay at the roundabout, cash only £56 per person (no concessions!) STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Re: Spoons Alive!
Posted by 42wworral on January 27, 2025, 10:55:28, in reply to "Spoons Alive!"
Just hope Greggs are supplying free pies to Oaf, plus a few for the audience. Worth it for the free advertising. 42worrall
Re: Spoons Alive!
Posted by PhilRobbie on January 27, 2025, 12:50:54, in reply to "Re: Spoons Alive!"
Nothing to do with Cartier Industries since Oaf went rogue and started doing what the hell he likes! If he has a sponsorship deal, it’s nothing to do with me.STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Re: Spoons Alive!
Posted by dosser jacket on January 27, 2025, 8:24:06, in reply to "Spoons Alive!"
£56 worth every penny.
Re: Spoons Alive!
Posted by PhilRobbie on January 27, 2025, 12:52:18, in reply to "Re: Spoons Alive!"
I repeat…NO CONSESSIONS!!STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Re: Spoons Alive!
Posted by dosser jacket on January 27, 2025, 16:48:43, in reply to "Re: Spoons Alive!"
Re: Spoons Alive!
Posted by Fuzzbox on January 27, 2025, 13:26:20, in reply to "Re: Spoons Alive!"
How much is £56 converted to pre-decimilisation coinage so Dosser can work out whether it is value for money or not?9B Stockport Edgeley, 9F Heaton Mersey
Re: Spoons Alive!
Posted by dosser jacket on January 27, 2025, 16:49:24, in reply to "Re: Spoons Alive!"
Re: Spoons Alive!
Posted by PhilRobbie on January 27, 2025, 12:52:17, in reply to "Re: Spoons Alive!"
I repeat…NO CONSESSIONS!!STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Re: Spoons Alive!
Posted by TheRealExile on January 27, 2025, 9:38:51, in reply to "Re: Spoons Alive!"
yes a true bargain, not sure how you do it Phil. I hope that little waster appreciates all you have done for his career. The beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad so I had one more for dessert.
Re: Spoons Alive!
Posted by PhilRobbie on January 27, 2025, 13:01:44, in reply to "Re: Spoons Alive!"
No he does not! he’s whimpering in the bin shed as we speak because he locked himself out last night and I refused to let him in for a warm in my rooms. Just because he had to spend a cold and windy evening In a doorway on Underbank, he considers it MY fault the useless little ****! Ok I could of thrown him down the spare keys but I chose not to…simple as that.STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
on January 27, 2025, 3:56:58
