I have exciting news! As the BBC have nobody to present next week’s show, I have offered the services of Cartier Industries to get them out of jail. Of course they will have to be a few changes to the format such as the theme tune being changed (see below) and Stockport County games will be also shown unedited…if we win or draw of course, otherwise we will just have three minutes of highlights like the rest of the undercard. Oaf & Hampton will present the show and the dynamic duo will introduce The Dingler as pundit sharing his football knowledge to millions…I shall direct and try to work the anti-swearing bleep machine (a bit awkward as it’ll be a live programme) There will (as last night) be no commentary apart from the County games where John K and young Mr Byrne will come into their own And become national treasures….unlike the other three who will almost certainly be roundly hated. All Auntie Beeb needs to do is to send me a cheque for £5000 and it’s a done deal! You saw it here first! Our first rehearsal is this afternoon, I’ll keep you posted how we get on at full time!STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
It’s bad enough trying to sort out a comparatively easy show without confusing them. It’s like attempting to herd cats. Tonight was a complete disaster with Hampton spluttering nonsense and Oaf simply ignoring the Autocue, what with The Dingler’s frankly offensive views on the ladies game (of which I had no idea it was even a segment of the show!) it’s going to take a lot of work to get them up to speed for next week! Why Hampton decided to make a short insert about Skateboarding is absolutely beyond me! Of course he was hours in make up in an attempt to hide his substantial bruising….Oaf was just belligerent and rude, I’m sorry Burnley may be considered ‘family challenged’ in some quarters but to refer to them as “inbred” is just unacceptable…especially when they’re not even in the Premier League anymore. Looks like a Pot Noodle embargo is on the cards (again) until they behave.STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Good point…I’d have said Hampton as he’s always struck me as behind a bit trans but he tells me he’s now ‘identifying’ as a sponge due to his day job of cleaning the bin shed. I’ll have to have a rethink I don’t want to be triggering anybody.
I have to be honest the rehearsal has hit a few teething problems with Oaf not turning up, Hampton’s permanently running nose and The Dingler’s frankly outrageous bad language. Still…hopefully we’ll iron out these problems before we move to Salford next week.STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
Looks like SKY have joined in the process of not commentating on the match as they missed Arsenal’s first goal…STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left. 5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids. Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!
on 12/3/2023, 1:35 pm
