On the off chance….
Posted by PhilRobbie on 8/12/2021, 3:26 pm
….that Strawberry Radio goes t*ts up Saturday, Cartier Industries will provide top quality match commentary from Plainmoor. |
We’re back on the road again…(well Hampton is)…for our big ‘derby’ game!
I’ve invested in a pair of second hand roller skates, a length of twine of which I’ve sellotaped a hook on one end. This innovative piece of engineering should see Hampton cruising down the country with no problems whatsoever.
All he needs to do is attach the hook to the back of The Fingerpost Flyer and he’ll soon have the wind in his hair!
With his ‘off-white’ flares flapping ten to the dozen and his back pack laden with electronic equipment I’ve no doubt his journey will be safe as houses and probably invigorating.
Later on, once he gets his breath back, I’ve told him to scale a tree that overlooks the pitch (there’s bound to be one) and set up his 60ft collapsible telescopic Ariel and begin to treat us to his dulcet tones!
His only concern, well to be honest he had more than a few, the moaning little sod! was that the skates had been used that much (probably in the 50’s by the look of them) that the once rubber wheels were now down to metal…I assured him that this will make for a more comfortable ride.
Personally I’d be more concerned that the exhaust from a Bullocks special was filling his lungs but as he doesn’t smoke it shouldn’t be a problem.
I’ll provide him with a primus stove, small pan, bottle of tap water and a delicious Pot Noodle for the journey.
I’m sure he’ll manage to balance the scalding hot water on the bumper whilst he’s zooming down the M5.
It only remains for me to shout…
Special Christmas Cartier commentary price…a mere snip at just £32.56 (per half)…and of course £10 per minute injury time that will be debited from your bank account at our convenience.
STILL have ‘(Orson) Cartier Industries (Stockport)’ T-shirts left.
5 sizes…£10 adults…£5 kids.
Can’t be arsed posting/delivering so pm me & I’ll meet you in a pub if possible!