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    Help needed for Cartier Industries. Archived Message

    Posted by PhilRobbie on 17/6/2023, 7:02 pm

    We have a problem…I’ve commissioned a book of poetry to boost our ever dwindling cash flow situation.
    I’m afraid so far my staff have proved to be absolutely bobbins when it comes to scribing odes…can anybody help me?
    I mean…just look at this rubbish!

    Oaf;

    Steak Bake, Steak Bake on me bike,
    Stake Bake, Stake Bake its what I like,
    Steak Bake, Steak Bake too many crumbs,
    Steak Bake, Steak Bake it’s hot on my gums,
    Steak Bake, Stake Bake Greggs is top starred!
    Steak Bake, Steak Bake pity I’m barred,
    Steak Bake, Stake Bake kicked the window in after being short changed and kicking over their bin
    Steak Bake, Steak Bake there a bunch of C….I think we’ll leave it there Oaf…nice try but no sausage roll.
    There’s another 23 verses I won’t bore you with and the language becomes increasingly worse.

    The Dingler;

    I had a farm and worked on the roads,
    Got compensation…loads and loads!
    My farm caught fire and burned all me dosh,
    So now Pot Noodles are my only nosh.

    I’m fuming with this!
    All he’s done is state a couple of facts.
    Where’s the content? Why have you sat in the corner with pen and paper for 12 hours and only deliver this!!
    Good luck with this evenings Pot Noodle to lazy div!

    Over to Hampton…I wasn’t expecting much to be honest and it turned out I was quite correct.

    Skayteborders are rubish dey fink dey ar ard
    Dey kik me up d ars a say I’m mard!!!
    I cant wark past wivowt beying chayesd
    Den dey smak me in d CENSORED fayce.
    Iyl get em bak wayt an seee
    Cant fink ov owt els can I av me pot nuddle

    Give me Strength!
    In answer to Hampton’s question…I think they’ll be two members of my staff going hungry this evening!
    Disgraceful attempt at the King’s English!

    So…you see what I’m up against.
    Please, (I’m looking at YOU Sparta!) for god’s sake help me out.
    No matter how bad you think you are it can’t be worse than my idiots.
    It goes without saying that it’s against poetry law to pay anyone (apart from Hampton when I’ve finished lacing my steel toe capped Doc Martins!).
    Thanks in advance I await with bated breath!


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