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    Stocking filler nightmares! Archived Message

    Posted by PhilRobbie on 28/10/2021, 10:52 am

    Typical!
    I had my staff stirring Dettol into a huge vat of ‘Rusk Musk’ in an attempt to kill the stale cheese aroma….two months wasted! especially as I’ve spent a fortune on re-branding.

    “NEW!!!! Yes it’s here!! Rusk Musk toilet cleaner!…a cleaner lavvie chavvie?…look no further than this fragrance of the fields!…(not to be confused with the putrid stench of the coincidently named Rusk Musk scent for men)”

    I thought it’d be a perfect stocking filler but fate has yet again kicked me squarely in the clacker bag. Only last year I was rubbing my hands together in anticipation of a bumper promotion payout with my Jimmy Gannon Slippers…

    “What better way to relax this winter than removing your hob-nailed work boots and slipping you feet into a pair of unisex slippers sporting a photograph of Jim beaming back at you?!!!
    Yes! AT LAST!!…the James Gannon slipper experience can be yours for a meagre £43.43 (per slipper)…size 15’s only due to a technical fault in the Koriean warehouse.”

    ….then they sack him, leaving me with a bin shed full of the damn things. I sent my staff out only last week to try and flog them at Hyde but due to them stinking to high heaven of ‘Rusk Musk’ they were roundly ignored.
    I thought things couldn’t get any worse…now this!

    I’ve taken things into my own hands and decided to send in Hampton as our new manager…at least I know where I stand with the short-arsed shirker at the helm.
    Oaf and The Dingler have spent the last few hours scrubbing down our new manager with a couple of yard brushes and a large bucket of dettol.
    He then, dressed in a second hand sheepskin coat I found in the bins at the back of the local charity shop, will head off to Edgeley Park to demand to see Mr Stott, where I’m in no doubt that he’ll be offered the job on the spot as soon as he mentions my name.
    Good luck to mr Rusk by the way and of course Jim Gannon.
    …and no doubt they’ll realise that the right man for the job is almost certainly putting his feet up on the managerial desk as we speak.

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