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    Cometh the hour... Archived Message

    Posted by PhilRobbie on 27/5/2021, 12:22 pm

    ...cometh the Hampton!


    With Saturday’s game being (all being well) the last time County fans will not be allowed to attend, Cartier Industries have come up with a foolproof plan to cover the game!

    Let’s be honest, our past attempts to bring live coverage to the masses haven’t ended well with technical issues/pilot error/the availability of half price, fire damaged cans of Tennants Super...being just a few of our problems.
    But now we put that right!

    Yes!

    Cartier Industries will be infiltrating Hewish Park with a rouge mascot!
    It’s our assumption that the Yeovil authorities won’t turn away a 8ft mascot of a laughing buffoon with an obvious top-heavy head!
    Inside the costume will of course be the intrepid Hampton covertly filming the game for your delectation (...hence the ‘top heavy head’ which will contain the camera and audio equipment)

    The manically grinning mascot (Joe the Jovial Yeovil Fan) will situate itself around the half-way line and secretly provide live footage of this most important football game.
    What can possibly go wrong!?
    ....apart from the fact that Hampton’s already stuck fast in the costume and can’t get out, I can’t foresee any difficulties.
    Fair play to our hero who is currently slumped in his lodgings, the bin shed.

    He’s very quiet and hasn’t moved for over four hours now but that’ll be down to exhaustion or his asthma or maybe he’s simply just fainted with the extreme heat generated within ‘Joe’
    ...anyway...nothing to worry about, I’ll send him on his merry way in a few hours time...after all he’ll need a couple of days to cycle down on Oaf’s bike.

    Oaf of course is sulking but as he couldn’t be shoehorned into the costume due to his Steak Bake fuelled frame...Hampton was volunteered instead (Spangle had suddenly developed a bad back whilst The Dingler would be frankly to unpredictable with his commentary, lapsing into reminiscences of his time as a small-holding farmer for no reason)

    The minor problem with Hampton being lodged in the mascot is food but I’m assured cold Pot Noodles re-sellotaped up might be quite a refreshing snack as he cycles through Birmingham.

    I’m off to wake the lazy sod up now and I’m sure you’ll all join me in shouting...

    ...GODSPEED HAMPTON!!

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