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    Re: Guided Tours Of The Park/Carrington Archived Message

    Posted by PhilRobbie on 25/3/2021, 9:42 pm, in reply to "Guided Tours Of The Park/Carrington"

    Cartier Industries will offer a similar (unofficial) tour of the facility as I have supplied Hampton with a pair of bolt cutters.
    Here’s the itinerary;

    Cartier legends Oaf, Hampton and The Dingler will meet you on the outskirts of Carrington Wood.

    The Dingler will collapse into the nearest bramble bush having being ‘relaxed’ by 12 cans of Special Brew...he will remain entangled for the duration of the tour.

    After some swearing and a fight between the remaining dynamic duo...the tour will begin.

    Beer break.

    Hampton will let you onto the premises by use of aforementioned bolt-cutters.

    Oaf disappears, suspected of cycling off drunk.

    Tour guide Hampton points you in the direction of the training ground.

    Hampton does one to the nearest off licence.

    You are left with freedom to roam County’s superb grounds at will.

    You are removed from the premises for trespassing.

    You are released from police custody with a fixed fine.

    4 weeks later.
    You are still waiting for someone to answer the phone at Cartier Industries.

    1year later.
    You give up trying for the £2,432 refund.

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