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    Re: Guided Tours Of The Park/Carrington Archived Message

    Posted by PhilRobbie on 25/3/2021, 9:42 pm, in reply to "Guided Tours Of The Park/Carrington"

    Cartier Industries will offer a similar (unofficial) tour of the facility as I have supplied Hampton with a pair of bolt cutters.
    Here’s the itinerary;

    10am
    Cartier legends Oaf, Hampton and The Dingler will meet you on the outskirts of Carrington Wood.

    10:05am
    The Dingler will collapse into the nearest bramble bush having being ‘relaxed’ by 12 cans of Special Brew...he will remain entangled for the duration of the tour.

    10:10am
    After some swearing and a fight between the remaining dynamic duo...the tour will begin.

    10:12am
    Beer break.

    12pm
    Hampton will let you onto the premises by use of aforementioned bolt-cutters.

    12:05pm
    Oaf disappears, suspected of cycling off drunk.

    12:06pm
    Tour guide Hampton points you in the direction of the training ground.

    12:07pm
    Hampton does one to the nearest off licence.

    12:08pm
    You are left with freedom to roam County’s superb grounds at will.

    12:09pm
    You are removed from the premises for trespassing.

    01:50am
    You are released from police custody with a fixed fine.

    4 weeks later.
    You are still waiting for someone to answer the phone at Cartier Industries.

    1year later.
    You give up trying for the £2,432 refund.

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