Bit of a disaster on the C.R.A.P. front...Archived Message
Posted by PhilRobbie on 16/3/2021, 2:11 pm
...this morning myself and staff arrived nice and early at Hanover Towers, Lancashire Hill to test the ‘Cartier Rescue Aid Parachute’
Hampton was strapped into the unit (made of unwanted junk mail stuck together with cheap glue and Sellotape) and unceremoniously pushed from the roof by an excited Oaf. The Dingler was on the ground to time the descent of The intrepid one.
His time came in at 3.4 seconds.
....not good considering high winds blew him into the building at least thrice... The driving rain didn’t help as it turned the C.R.A.P. into paper machete rendering it useless during the short flight.
Luckily smashing his head repeatedly against the balustrades en route to his crunching (and frankly embarrassing landing as his strides became entangled in a Sky dish on the 4th floor leaving him in his underpants as he landed)...but at least it saved his life.
Whilst I got a taxi home to weigh up what exactly went wrong Hampton was thrown over Oaf’s bike and wheeled to Stepping Hill....they should be there by teatime.