Diary of an unemployed Tesco worker. Day 9.Archived Message
Posted by Des Jnr on 29/3/2020, 2:36 pm
Well, if all the DVD’s can do bonus extras.....
I naturally wake up about five minutes before my alarm goes off (which I forgot to turn off). I’m finally settled into my new routine of getting up at noon, working from 2pm until 11pm, having my tea at midnight, and watching Netflix until about 4am, and my blue fleece has been retired. The clocks are going forward tonight as well. #### me, this body clock of mine is going to need some resetting.
Catching up on some of the news from the last week or so, I find an article regarding a news conference that took place in Downing Street last Saturday. The head of the British Retail Consortium, Helen Dickinson, said: “There is £1bn more food in people’s houses than there was three weeks ago, so we should make sure we eat some of it.” Quite possibly the funniest quote I’ve ever heard in my life.
Decide to make a note of everything I’m doing today, and three and a half minutes later, decide not to make a note of everything I’m doing today.
I do quite a lot of acting in my spare time, and notifications always appear on Facebook about forthcoming shows. Today, this pops up: ‘Let Sasha know if you can make it to The Full Monty auditions tomorrow’. Not entirely sure “waving my willy about on stage” will be classified as an essential journey if I’m stopped by the police.
Chris Whitty keeps appearing on television with these public information announcements about the Coronavirus. I so wish the BBC would use the ‘Mastermind’ theme tune to introduce him, just to really shit us all up.
‘Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves’ is on Channel 5. Never mind all these social distancing measures. Just bring Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman in to sword the shit out of this virus.
I watch ‘In For A Penny’ on ITV, which is a bit of a daft game show with members of the public. Tonight, Stephen Mulhern is in a Tesco store. He shares a breadstick with a female checkout worker in front of other customers (like that spaghetti scene in ‘Lady And The Tramp’), stuffs his face with mango slices at the till, and has a bit of sexual innuendo with a Father Christmas lookalike who’s buying melons. ‘Brand Tesco’ is alive and well.
‘Saturday Night Takeaway’ is also on ITV. Ant & Dec are presenting it from home, due to the Coronavirus outbreak. But I notice they’re in different houses. I thought they were a married couple?