Cartier Industries are sad to have to say goodbye to one of it’s stalwarts over the years…

The charismatic Hampton has applied for the senior position at Preston North End and is obviously going to taken on.

It’s with a lump in my throat I waved him off from the bin shed this morning and presented him with some (sell-by date expired) cheese sandwiches that I’d bought from the £ Emporium.
Hampton looked at me, tears welling into his eyes, and said “good luck boss” before being attacked by his nemesis in the form of a gang of under 14 year-old skateboarders.

He assures me that he has agreed terms with Preston’s chairman and he will be considerably better off financially as well as being given his VERY OWN bin shed in the club car park.

It goes without saying that the departure of such a valuable employee has effected the rest of my staff, The Dingler has reacted by punching the air and I’m sure I detected a slight shrug of the shoulders from Oaf.
Myself?…I’m absolutely gutted! Where the hell am I going to find another idiot that’ll do the most mind-blowingly dangerous or excruciating tedious jobs around the place?
Of course I still have The Dingler but he can become a bit Bolshy following a session in ‘Spoons…as for Oaf. He’s gone rouge! I never know where he is and he treats Cartier Industries with absolute contempt!
Those of you that know me know that I haven’t a malicious bone in my body so I’m far from bitter in fact, god speed Hampton you treacherous little sod! I hope you get run over by a bus on the way to work on your first day!