Name, MISTAKES UNLIMITED INC.
Address, MINE OR YOURS.
Product, FREE MISTAKES.
Price, FREE or based on a sliding scale of difficulty. I will pay you at least 50% of the cost, which ever is greater.
Sample mistake #1.
1. Be cheap. Use the smallest least expensive piece of material that will fit on the lathe leaving .001 clearance between the work and the jaws. While making the last cut answer your cell phone just in time to watch your new cutting tool engage the chuck jaws and see the work fly through the air just before it hits you in the eye.
2. Call 911 and have the work removed from your eye.
3. After finding out that your insurance does not cover flying small brass objects embedded in your left eye, only the right, order a new rod and jaws without using your glasses.
4. Pay extra for super duper overnight express delivery.
5. Receive delivery at 2 am. by two men in dark suits driving an unmarked van. Your package is a plain brown cardboard box with no return address.
6. 5:30 am. Call the wife to post your bail.
Sample mistake #2.
1. Be fast. Do not take the time to use a locking nut on your mounting arbor on the vertical mill.
2. Feed the work into the cutter uphill.
3. Take off your newly purchased safety glasses to clean cutting oil off the left lens.
4. Watch as the work spins off the arbor and flies through the air breaking a window and penetrating the windshield of a '57' Chevy newly repainted and just taken out of your neighbor's shop, tearing the new tuck and fold upholstery.
5. Call 911 and have the nut removed from your right eye. Find out that your new insurance only covers small brass objects, not chrome plated nuts.
6. Call wife to post your bail.
Send a SASE for a free mistake list, special offer for only one week or ten days, which ever is sooner. I will pay the difference.
Well Dennis, do I have your support? I feel I will be highly successful as if you noticed i can not even spell my own name correctly.