You don't make much sense when you write. But if I understand what you're yammering about -- just like the story says -- I wanted to watch all 5 Planet of the Apes without getting up while drinking beer and eating pork rinds. Since that meant getting off my ass was cheating, I had to piss myself. I was doing pretty good until there was a wreck outside that I had to gawk at.
Does that answer your question?