Then there is JoAnne, who has been a friend of Stacey's since their teens. JoAnne is not well either, she has lately had back surgery and a stroke that left her with balance problems, occasional seizures and damaged vision. She can no longer drive. She has been living with her brother, who wants her out. A once good earner in outside sales, she is now struggling to get by on disability and can't afford very much for rent. She may have to relocate to Arizona to share a place with another friend. She is not happy about this. Her situation is stressful and sad, and she has been begging me to let her come and stay here to help us out with all the caregiving we have to do.. Besides the fact that she herself needs care, she has been living with her brother and his wife who had to quarantine when one of their co-workers got the virus. And JoAnne uses the transportation the county provides for the disabled and goes out and about to do her shopping and to her many doctor appointments. I said no, you can't come here until things improve. Then she bought Stacey CBD oil that she swears by, she thinks it will cure many of her symptoms, but Stacey is on so many medications besides getting chemo that she refused to use it. So JoAnne begged me to convince her. I refused. She said that I was dismissing her experience (she worked in a hospital 30 years ago), that she knows what makes cancer patients feel better as she has known several, that I was being intimidating and dishonest and disrespectful of her abilities, and she has never been so insulted in her entire life. All the while, I tried to speak sense to her, and keep calm.
Then there is Kathleen, daughter of our former neighbor from the 60s and 70s. She is up in Oregon and wants to come down to visit if I will allow it. She has a job at a college, and a husband and daughter living at home. I said no, due to the virus. She accepts it better than the others, but wants to come as soon as possible. She just sent beautiful flowers, always calls, and keeps saying she really wants to come. I feel bad refusing her.
Then there is Shelina, also a friend since the teens. She now lives in Texas. Evidently she called Stacey the other day to suggest she look into alternative treatment. When Stacey refused, she asked to speak to me, asking for info on Stacey's condition. I told her where we are at this point. She suggested I speak to a friend of a friend of a friend who studied nursing at a local college that is affiliated with UCLA. I asked if she was an oncology nurse. She didn't know, I said we've already had a second opinion from the foremost research physician in clinical trials at UCLA. It didn't stop her. She said we should get in contact with one of her old boyfriend's brother. When she was very sick with liver problems he put her on life support. What kind of life support? Some kind of pills. Is he a doctor? No. What was your problem? Drinking too much. I said that is not like pancreatic cancer. Where does he practice? She said he doesn't, he just goes around the world selling his pills. I said we have the best current treatment and are not interested in contacting him. She accused me of letting my daughter die. She said she was so angry at me that she was hanging up, but I beat her to it.
I understand that what all these friends have in common is their anxiety and fear that they may never see their beloved friend again. They have actually verbalized it to me. In the meanwhile, things are proceeding, and so far so good. But I am taking the brunt of some hysterical girls, women now, but still acting like girls.
Oh, and then there is my sister, who hasn't spoken to me for three months since I sent her a FB cut and paste showing posters upset at Dr. Laura for her abuse of a caller. My sister has never been much of a support to me, but this is ridiculous. Both my children are very ill, and she is more upset about negative opinions of Dr. Laura. She is a 75-year-old woman who is not even acting like a girl, but like a child. I'm done.
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