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Student who trashes the director to other members of the band

Posted by Somebody on 4/11/2025, 11:49 am

What to do about a rogue toxic student who complains about me to mom every time she gets in trouble? Backtalks if I say anything to her? Skips detention? Admin won't remove her from the class. Do I fail her? Give her some kind of boring packet? Make her copy lines in the book for the rest of the year? I have never done anything to this student, but she is a toxic apple trying to poison the rest of the band.

Re: Student who trashes the director to other members of the band

Posted by 5AHBD on 4/19/2025, 10:10 pm, in reply to "Student who trashes the director to other members of the band"

I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Anytime I have a student disrupting our success, I speak with them privately to ask what is going on. I also call parents and ask what is happening. Emails are not as effective as a phone call. Usually when I speak to a parent, the problems resolve much quicker than a back and forth email chain.

I then tell the student very politely and in an encouraging tone that the band (students and staff) will remember your legacy one of two ways: either helping or hurting the progress. While you may not care now, you will if you ever decide to return and visit. It will be 100% clear to you then how your legacy was remembered. I tell them I want them to leave a positive legacy and ask them to let me help them do so.

We rarely have these issues. They usually occur in my career with new jobs and those type of students quickly change or leave.

Re: Student who trashes the director to other members of the band

Posted by Curious on 4/14/2025, 4:16 pm, in reply to "Student who trashes the director to other members of the band"

Remember that "punishments" are nothing more than consequences that result from a student's actions.

Re: Student who trashes the director to other members of the band

Posted by Respectfully on 4/15/2025, 10:08 am, in reply to "Re: Student who trashes the director to other members of the band"

And are frequently arbitrary and capricious.

Generalizations can work both ways, friend.

Re: Student who trashes the director to other members of the band

Posted by Look in the mirror on 4/14/2025, 7:43 am, in reply to "Student who trashes the director to other members of the band"

The student might be getting a response out of you. Change the way you respond to her. Your questions about what to do in order to "Get" her such as punishment make me think you want to sort of punish her through pain.

When kids complain about you, their audience can either say "Yes I agree this teacher DOES do those things" or "You're stupid. I disagree.".... if you're worried the student is convincing others that you're doing bad things or something... this is an opportunity for you to look in the mirror, check to see what you might be doing, and adjust if there is any ammunition in which the complaining student is correct.

I am NOT saying you're in the wrong. But I've found that bad kids tend to be quiet when they don't get the response or reaction they want. Try not giving them the attention they are seeking if you've been doing that.

Re: Student who trashes the director to other members of the band

Posted by Flutie on 4/12/2025, 7:48 pm, in reply to "Student who trashes the director to other members of the band"

I once invited a parent to sit in class. She was so ashamed of her kids behavior. I don't remember if he was bad while she was there since this was about 10 years ago. I had another student who would talk back, roll her eyes, etc.. Everyday I sent her mom, who was also a teacher in the district, an email everyday with what her kid did and didn't do. She got tired of it and finally pulled her kid out. She also tried to get me to pass her kid who had a ton of missing grades. I told her that depends on the quality of her makeup work.

Re: Student who trashes the director to other members of the band

Posted by Me on 4/11/2025, 8:34 pm, in reply to "Student who trashes the director to other members of the band"

You need a parent/teacher conference with admin present. Tell them the behavior will stop immediately.

Re: Student who trashes the director to other members of the band

Posted by Really old dude on 4/11/2025, 6:41 pm, in reply to "Student who trashes the director to other members of the band"

Go to your admin, with documents. Ask for 'their' assessment and reccomendations.. follow 'their' advice. Nobody likes these situations but if you are not in an assn. with lawyer back up. Cover your 'six'

Re: Student who trashes the director to other members of the band

Posted by Beagle on 4/11/2025, 3:37 pm, in reply to "Student who trashes the director to other members of the band"

"Toxic" isn't actionable. It's a Millennial/Gen Z buzzword for "I don't like this but can't be specific as to why."

Having opinions you don't like isn't actionable either.

Document everything negative they do. Anything that violates student code of conduct or band handbook - write it down, document, and be prepared to defend yourself. Be objective, be factual, and be clear. Any violations of classroom rules - document, document, document.

Don't give them punishments or exclusions that you don't already give other students. That's singling out a student, and if they're SpEd or 504, you can get in huge legal trouble for that. Follow the steps of the disciplinary process outlined in your campus handbook to the letter.

Document everything, communicate everything to her parents, and then simply leave her off your approved list for next year. You can cite your mountain of documentation of behavior issues as for a reason why.

There's five weeks left. You can put up with it that much longer if you've put up with her this long.

Re: Student who trashes the director to other members of the band

Posted by Been there on 4/11/2025, 2:39 pm, in reply to "Student who trashes the director to other members of the band"

Be very careful that nothing you do even hints at retaliation. Based on the information you've given, I see nothing that would justify pulling her off of her instrument to write lines or do packets. I've done that for kids who just refuse to play, but otherwise your admin isn't likely to back you.

Follow the student code of conduct and campus discipline plan to the letter. Document. Write up referrals as needed. Get her sent to ISS. Maybe she'll shape up, or maybe you're just free of her for a couple of days.

Don't do anything that's going to make your admin upset. You have 5 more weeks in this school year, it's not worth getting yourself into hot water.

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