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Move on

Posted by confused on 4/2/2025, 11:26 am

Why does the former director keep coming to events we have?Is this normal? Its like they cant move on with their own school.Would you continue to go to things at your old school and if so for how long?

Re: Move on

Posted by ForeverN00B on 4/7/2025, 8:53 am, in reply to "Move on"

I took a new gig a few years ago, and the old director kept strong communication with the kids. It effectively created a sect within the group loyal to him, and they couldn't get past him. They went to his house at Christmas for a party type of thing. Eventually I had to get the superintendent involved and lost the job because of so may kids leaving band and so much infighting in the band because I wasn't the old guy. There was nothing I could do while he kept stoking the fire from the outside.

Re: Move on

Posted by older than dirt on 4/4/2025, 10:58 am, in reply to "Move on"

give them grace. maybe they are coming to reinforce their acceptance of you as the "new" guy. Maybe they are trying to show support even though they are not there any more. Don't assume. When I've left, I usually shut the door emotionally on the old school and buy into the new gig. The only time I've gone back is when asked by the new director or students. I did have some students ask me to "walk" with them on senior night and I said no. That was not in "good form".

Re: Move on

Posted by Not at all... on 4/4/2025, 9:43 am, in reply to "Move on"

I retired in 2020 after 15 years as head director.

I stepped back and have never attended any performances or events, even though I still live in the community. I did not want to create any chance of being a distraction to students or directors... it's respect for who is currently there, and what they are trying to accomplish in the program.

I have occasional texting communication with an assistant that is still there, but only for informational reasons and a shout out of well wishing prior to their competitions...may be a lunch at one of our conferences, but that's it.

In my many years I do remember former directors "coming back", and it was usually not in the best interest of the program.

Re: Move on

Posted by Brkt87 on 4/4/2025, 9:18 am, in reply to "Move on"

I still go, but I still have a child there to support. The director and I get along great and he knows I'm not there to be critical. After the concert everyone sees us visiting with each other, so there is no tension anywhere.

Re: Move on

Posted by Former Small School Guy on 4/3/2025, 2:59 pm, in reply to "Move on"

I did go to observe my old school in sight reading this year. Not because I wanted to see old students (who's names I dont even remember) but because I really wanted to hear the SR for that level and I new they'd play it well. They did. Several students recognized me but I didn't acknowledge it to any degree that would make anyone uncomfortable.

Re: Move on

Posted by Moved on on 4/3/2025, 12:11 pm, in reply to "Move on"

Last time I moved, I went to a few concerts when I could as long as my former students were there. It was good to hear them and see them "grown up." However, I made it a point to sit in the back and not draw attention to myself. I did not want to at all distract or take away from what the new staff and students were doing.

Re: Move on

Posted by anon on 4/3/2025, 11:25 am, in reply to "Move on"

I'd say it depends on the situation. If they're coming to performances and being supportive, I'd say that's a great thing. If they're being negative in any way, it might be something to address.

Maybe consider inviting them to come and speak to your students sometimes. Make them feel they are a part of the band culture they helped establish. We did that in a previous situation, and the community and the students seemed to like it.

Re: Move on

Posted by Maybe on 4/2/2025, 2:25 pm, in reply to "Move on"

It depends on how long that director has been going to the events, and how long they've taught at that school.

For a lot of directors they've worked with the kids for a long time, so of course they'd want to still show their support for them and see how they're doing. It's not weird at all. A lot of directors also stay in the same region and may have already been at the event, or want to go later and see how things sound. They may even live close by and simply want to check things out since it's not out of the way.

Re: Move on

Posted by Me on 4/2/2025, 1:42 pm, in reply to "Move on"

Did they retire or just move on?

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