The Yellow Board

Please

Posted by I need advice on 11/29/2022, 8:43 am

I can't sleep. I can't stop eating. My mind is CONSTANTLY singing all of the tunes we work on day in day out. I can't escape it. It's driving me insane. I'm always thinking about all of the problems with our job and how I've begun to have an extreme distaste for it over the years. I don't have the personal satisfaction with teaching I was had. I go to bed around 3:30am most days because my mind just won't shut off. I can be completely exhausted, but if my brain won't shut off, I can't sleep. I can't tell if it is a suck it up situation, that it'll get better, even though I have felt for years with each year getting progressively worse. Or if I need to move on in careers. My mind set is always that of looking toward the future. With everything going on in the world and our job, I'm scared to death. Like, serious anxiety attacks. I don't feel like I have anyone to explain this to who either understands enough to tell me to get over it or tell me it's time to move on. The thought of moving on scares me. What if I can't support my family financially? What if it's not what I really want and I can't come back to teaching? I don't know how to fix this or come up with rational thoughts. I don't have friends outside of work. I don't have kids of my to distract me from the day to day.

If anyone has helpful advice please let me know.

Re: Please

Posted by Urkel on 12/1/2022, 7:48 pm, in reply to "Please"

Just my humble opinion, well-seasoned with my own experiences...The thought that immediately came to me upon reading your words is:

This may be an untreated, underlying issue such as ADD/ADHD, which is driving much of the anxiety, which starts a feedback loop of more anxiety and turns a physiological issue into a potential mental health time bomb. It may be some other underlying issue, but it's not a 'tough-it-out' or 'get-over-it' issue.

You've had lots of good advice to see a physician, and possibly a mental health professional, both which I will echo. It's not a sign of weakness, as it takes strength to take care of ourselves properly. I respect you for having the courage to reach out for help, and wish you the best.

Re: Please

Posted by Year 51 on 11/30/2022, 4:27 pm, in reply to "Please"

Lots of good ideas, yes seek counseling and a Dr. In my 51 yrs of teaching I have always had an outside diversion. For me it has been competitve archery, shooting, golfing, woodworking, metal fabrication and some I have probably forgotten. I would seek a respite from the constant barrage of dealing with students, parents, admin, co-workers home life. You need "Me Time" and make it fun. BTW all those outside activities were not at the same time. Good luck

Re: Please

Posted by bob barker on 11/29/2022, 2:51 pm, in reply to "Please"

What we do is important. That being said, we are just teaching kids. Keep this in mind and focus on the lesson you are teaching and classroom management. After the work day try and let it go. Start tomorrow when you get to work and plan your lesson and how work will go.

I know this sounds simple, but when it is simplified to teaching kids this job can be fun. Nobody is dealing with life and death in Band. Try and destress the job all that you can.

I hope you feel better and get to relax a little. Hang in there.

Re: Please

Posted by Big Jim on 12/1/2022, 7:10 am, in reply to "Re: Please"

Strong words to teach by! <3

Re: Please

Posted by Advice on 11/29/2022, 12:57 pm, in reply to "Please"

I don't think this is a "suck it up" thing. No one deserves to suffer like that day in and day out.
There is definitely a problem here but it may or may not be the job necessarily. Being a band director is absolutely a stressful job for many, but it sounds like it's impacting you to a whole other level.

If you switch careers, there is always the possibility that this might follow you to whatever new career you choose. I strongly recommend you see a therapist before committing to any sort of career change. I don't think anyone on the internet is going to be qualified enough to guide you through this because it sounds like there may be a bigger underlying issue here.

Re: Please

Posted by WTX Retiree on 11/29/2022, 11:50 am, in reply to "Please"

Check out this article on physical exercise and stress. Copy and paste if the link is not active.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/exercise-and-stress/art-20044469#:~:text=Physical%20activity%20may%20help%20bump,contribute%20to%20this%20same%20feeling.

Re: Please

Posted by Respectfully on 11/29/2022, 11:34 am, in reply to "Please"

You need to see a mental health professional. You need to see a physician as well. You sound like there could be a hormonal or chemical imbalance that's causing you to behave this way. It happens to MANY MANY people as they age.

Get professional help. Today. Tomorrow. It's not weakness - you've only got one mind and one body, and you have to take care of it while it's here.

Re: Please

Posted by Similar on 11/29/2022, 11:28 am, in reply to "Please"

I had a similar issue a couple years ago, and the best thing I ever did was get professional counseling. I went to my school counselor to refer me to someone (they usually know the good ones in your community) who could help.

This person helped me work through my thoughts and gave me coping strategies. Again, it was one of the best things I could have done to help the situation.

My counselor was a faith-based counselor, so if you're a believer, I HIGHLY encourage you to seek out someone like that.

I wish you the best.

Re: Please

Posted by WTX Retiree on 11/29/2022, 11:02 am, in reply to "Please"

No easy answers. Here's a few thoughts on where to start.

1. This sounds like a medical issue. I encourage you to find someone to talk to. Either a mentor you trust or a certified counselor. Get a medical check up. This could be physical.

2. Invest some time in a physical activity away from school. Run, bike, hike, yardwork, walk.

3. Find a place to do some volunteer work.

No matter what, get some help.

Re: Please

Posted by jack on 11/29/2022, 10:54 am, in reply to "Please"

Seek professional help.

Start with your primary physician. Say EVERYTHING to them that you said here. They can get you on the started on the right path to better.

Re: Please

Posted by me on 11/29/2022, 10:15 am, in reply to "Please"

I use to have some of the same problems with insomnia. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Turns out, my body was afraid of dying lol. So, I stayed awake a lot. Since I've been on my bipap machine I sleep really well and am only mildly grumpy with my kids. =) The supporting your family financially is actually hitting me really hard right now as I put my kids through college. There's never enough money at this stage. If you're scared of moving on and really need money financially, I have begun to do uber and doordash lately to supplement my pay. Also, I checked into the local music store and they hired me to teach lessons one day a week. That alone has been a life saver financially. Also, it might be time to look at downsizing the kind of place you live in and/or the kind of vehicles you drive. Also, the sleeping thing could be health related. When I was on a consistent diet program and exercised I felt better than I do now. Most of all, there's a reason why you chose to do music. There's a reason why you chose to stick with it through a really hard degree program. There's a reason why your gut tells you to stick with it. Call somebody you trust, that has success, and ask them how they run their program. Be opened minded and really listen to what they say. It's ok to be vulnerable in our profession. Maybe there are easier, more effective ways to go about this thing called band directing. I switched to having my beginners do a playoff system this year instead of me being in their face constantly. It worked so well that I'm dedicating large parts of my ms and hs rehearsals to this strategy as well. I hope you find the path that makes you happier because life is way too short to be upset about. Cancer patients live hour to hour hoping they can survive. You're in a position to thrive! Carpe diem!! Mold the life you want into what it is that you want out of it.

Re: Please

Posted by Talk on 11/29/2022, 10:01 am, in reply to "Please"

to a mental health expert rather than someone from this board. Not a thing wrong with doing that.

Re: Please

Posted by Seek Help on 11/29/2022, 10:01 am, in reply to "Please"

I encourage you to seek help from a professional counselor. It might not seem helpful atm, but it does one good to have an outlet that has the resources to help you. Yes it'll require time off to get you the help you need, but YOU ARE WORTH IT! Your mental health is more important than any job. Seek counseling, come up with a plan, see where that leads you. I'll say it again, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Re: Please

Posted by Been there on 11/29/2022, 9:47 am, in reply to "Please"

Go see your doctor this week. It might be as simple as some anti-anxiety meds. Better living through chemistry. It works for me!

« Back to index

[ The Yellow Board ]