The Yellow Board

Meeting people

Posted by Young, dumb, and single on 11/8/2022, 8:08 pm

Hey Yellowboard.

Right now my career is my life. I never wanted it that way and I don't want to keep it that way. I fear burnout as it has happened to many within our profession.

How do y'all meet people? Dating apps have been ineffective for me and I am not sure what to do.

Sincerely,

A dude who isn't getting younger

Re: Meeting people

Posted by Peterson, Conald on 11/17/2022, 1:22 pm, in reply to "Meeting people"

Before finding someone, one must find themselves.

Re: Meeting people

Posted by Mr. Dude on 11/11/2022, 12:55 pm, in reply to "Meeting people"

You got a friend with a baby? Offer to give them an afternoon off and take their baby grocery shopping at Whole Foods. I'm not kidding. Signed a happily married dad with two kids.

Re: Meeting people

Posted by young, dumb, finally dating on 11/10/2022, 1:55 pm, in reply to "Meeting people"

Took me a while and I dated some losers but I did end up finding a great guy on a dating app.

But do the teachers at your school know that you're single and would like to date?
You know those ladies love to play match maker with people
Co-ed sports and clubs is the other best way to go!

Re: Meeting people

Posted by really retired on 11/10/2022, 1:46 pm, in reply to "Meeting people"

Have you consider visiting the nude beach in Austin? I always found church - grocery store looking lost - teacher's lounge (carry a sign that tells other teachers that you are lonely - at least one of them has a niece/nephew). Have you told all of your relatives? Or consider returning to school to work on another degree (all work and no play makes...) - join the local Rotary or Lions club. run marathons. Are you close enough to someplace to play in a community band or jazz group? Or do what I did - marry your 8th grade sweetheart. Good Luck. M

Re: Meeting people

Posted by Try This on 11/10/2022, 8:48 am, in reply to "Meeting people"

Look for coed, adult sports/social leagues. Kickball is a blast! Dodgeball can be fun, but intense!

Re: Meeting people

Posted by My 2 centa on 11/9/2022, 1:48 pm, in reply to "Meeting people"

Dating apps is like looking for a needle in 3,000 haystacks. But it can work. I found my amazing husband on a dating app. I say keep trying. Be upfront about the fact that you are a successful professional and won’t have 24/7 for them (but word it nicely), and you will possibly attract someone similar who will understand.

On another note, HS band does not exactly lend itself to having a life outside of work. That’s something to very seriously think about.

Last, your friends and work network will be helpful in knowing about singles looking to date. Go out (which is hard on your schedule) and do things you enjoy. You may meet someone doing that.

Best of luck!

Re: Meeting people

Posted by FB on 11/9/2022, 1:30 pm, in reply to "Meeting people"

Join some groups on Facebook. They don't have to be Singles groups, but I bet there's some singles groups on FB in your area. Find something you're interested in: photography, model trains, running, and join those groups. You're more likely to find someone who shares a common interest.

Re: Meeting people

Posted by MS on 11/9/2022, 9:18 am, in reply to "Meeting people"

Don't worry so much about meeting someone. Focus on getting a better life balance on your own. Until that happens, even if you meet the right person, you won't truly be available.

I see some people saying you need to find someone who is supportive and understands the profession, but honestly it goes both ways. You need to be supportive of their goals as well and be there for them when they need you.

Our job doesn't define who we are and shouldn't define how we lives our lives.

Re: Meeting people

Posted by Dubs on 11/9/2022, 8:08 am, in reply to "Meeting people"

I met my now-wife keeping the books for the JH girls basketball games. She was one of the basketball coaches. I had the time, I like sports and I had a few of my band kids on the team. It also made it nice because she totally understood the busy life of an extracurricular teacher.

Re: Meeting people

Posted by Questioner on 11/8/2022, 8:29 pm, in reply to "Meeting people"

If you are in a large city or near one, find a church with a large congregation which includes young people groups. I'd look for a main line denomination.

Re: Meeting people

Posted by OP on 11/8/2022, 9:08 pm, in reply to "Re: Meeting people"

I want to preface this with the fact that I 100% respect religion and have family members and friends who practice religion and I love and respect them. I do not want to spark a debate about faith (not that you would engage, but others may).

I am not personally a religious person and I personally find it difficult to genuinely practice a faith without feeling like a "phony" and being fake. Despite this, would it be acceptable to follow this advice? I do not want to be dishonest with myself or others.

Re: Meeting people

Posted by Bad idea on 11/9/2022, 11:34 am, in reply to "Re: Meeting people"

I wouldn't. The women you meet at church will figure out pretty quick why you're there, and that you don't really follow the religion. If they're at all serious about it, they won't be interested in you, and you probably won't be that interested in them. Unitarians are often more accepting.

Do you have some kind of hobby/activity that you're into? My weekend running group usually ends up at the brewery for post-run lunch. When I trained martial arts I met lots of great guys there. Not a lot of women in that particular activity, but maybe you have something else you do or want to try. I have great friends in the community band I play in. Pre-COVID I was in a ballroom dance class, there were 3 women for every man.

Re: Meeting people

Posted by Met on Match on 11/9/2022, 5:12 am, in reply to "Re: Meeting people"

Get off Tinder. People are just there for hookups.

And unless you’re Christian, eHarmony isn’t for you either. They may not even let you make an account.

You work a job that takes up way too much time and that the average person can’t relate to. You need to be patient until you find an above average partner. I met my now-wife on Match in 2012 - after having used the service for over a year. I was in my mid-30s.

The more rural you are? The harder it’s going to be.

Be patient. Keep after it. But yes, it’s frustratingly slow.

Re: Meeting people

Posted by banddirhdg on 11/8/2022, 11:04 pm, in reply to "Re: Meeting people"

Many people go to church looking for community and eventually find the Lord. I think "phony" would be going to church and pretending you're more religious than you really are. If you are unsure about your faith, you'll probably be about average.

Re: Meeting people

Posted by Tim- TYB Host on 11/8/2022, 8:54 pm, in reply to "Re: Meeting people"
Board Administrator

This is how I met my wife. Our church was so big it had a singles worship service during the week.

Prior to meeting her, I interviewed for a job out in the country and declined it because my personal life would be been severely hampered.

Tim

Re: Meeting people

Posted by Dinosaur Dennis on 11/9/2022, 7:47 am, in reply to "Re: Meeting people"

Having been married twice doesn't make me an expert on dating, but my present marriage has lasted 45 years so here's my 2 cents worth. The majority of girls I dated after high school(not that many) were in band or churches I participated in. I am old school and feel on-line dating is not ideal. Face time is essential to get to know someone.
In this profession I think you must find someone who is compatible and supportive. I was very fortunate to have my wife as my assistant/associate for most of my 42 years of teaching. (She is quick to remind me that I only made one Sweepstakes without her by my side.)

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