The Yellow Board

So Burned Out!

Posted by Two more days on 5/16/2022, 12:46 pm

Two days until I retire and I have my doubts about making it through even that with my sanity. Today was pissed off momma about a TSSEC issue she knows absolutely nothing about. Does she call me, the person who could tell her what she wants to know? No, let's complain to the principal about the band director. I'M. SO. DONE... with irresponsible and entitled kids AND parents!!
I wouldn't do this another year if it was 20k/month.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by retireder on 5/20/2022, 3:08 pm, in reply to "So Burned Out!"

I actually educated a young principal way back when. I pointed out to him that the parent knew that they should call me. They also knew what the answer would probably be, but they had no interest in hearing that answer. So they call you (the principal), along with their neighbor, the superintendent's secretary that they go to church with, etc. because what they really want to do is vent and gripe. They know you (the principal) do not have the answer, but you also are not in a position to refute their gripe. They will eventually get their answer from me, and they won't like it, but in their mind they 'made trouble' for me because the principal probably said, "Oh my. I appreciate your concern and I will look into that," and their neighbor and the sup's secretary probably agreed with them to get them to shut up. And in some cases with a weak administrator they just might actually cause me a problem, but it won't change my answer.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by Exercise on 5/18/2022, 2:29 pm, in reply to "So Burned Out!"

Left teaching a few years ago and haven't looked back. No regrets.

What I never understood were principals who didn't direct parents to the teacher in question or didn't gather all the details before making a conclusion. Oh well...no longer my circus/monkeys.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by The Flip Side on 5/17/2022, 5:26 pm, in reply to "So Burned Out!"

A lot of what's been said above probably looks frightening to anyone just getting into this field of teaching and I've seen stuff like this happen to some really fine directors during my 35 years of teaching middle school band. (Now retired) And yes, I taught under a few of administrators who were horrible as described above.

That said, I can honestly say that probably around 85% of the time I taught under some truly stellar administrators who were indeed terrific under which to teach. They were supportive of my programs, students and me as a teacher/band director. I still feel so lucky to have had administrators like that during my career.

A few words of wisdom that really helped me:

1) Treat your professional relationships with your administrators like a bank account. I ALWAYS made sure that I did more good things for them than they did for me. It might be like if they were showing around board members, parents, their supervisors from the admin. bldg., whoever they needed to impress...I would offer to help them with little things such as maybe providing my drum line to perform for them or invite the principal (or any admin) to bring their guests by the band hall for a short performance by whatever class I had at the time, even a spur of the moment song would do. Basically, make sure that they "owe you" by making sure that you do more for them in any way than they do for you. It's like money in the bank with a positive balance and it can often get even mediocre administrators on your side or at the very least to leave you and your program alone.

2) ALWAYS try to find some kind of words of support if possible for your administrators and say those words publicly at your concerts and even introduce them or at the minimum recognize them if they're in the audience. This too can have some benefits even if you have to stretch the truth a little. It can still provide even a little bit of goodwill that might come your way. It usually can't hurt and usually does help.

3) Keep your administrators in the loop as much as possible, even if it's for relatively minor things. I guarantee you that they don't like surprises. CC or BCC them in on responses you send to parents if possible.

4) When you write any kind of correspondence whether to an administrator, parent or whoever, write it all out in a draft saying exactly everything you're feeling and thinking. Then after you've said everything you want to say, go back through it and edit out all of the emotions from it. Leave just the facts and opinions but remove all of the anger out of it before you send it.

5) If a situation gets too toxic and the problems or problem people there are beyond anything you can do to improve the situation, get out of there at the end of your contract (if you can make it that far) and don't look back. Some situations can truly be hopeless.

These 5 items served me well during my career and it all definitely helped to get even some of the not-so-great administrators I did have under which to work on my side or at a minimum out of my hair. But as I said, I was lucky enough to have served under some truly great administrators during my teaching career.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by Retired but not done on 6/2/2022, 8:25 pm, in reply to "Re: So Burned Out!"

I wish I wrote this because it is spot on!

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by THIS! on 5/18/2022, 7:39 am, in reply to "Re: So Burned Out!"

Good stuff here. Especially number 4!

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by Banddirhdg on 5/17/2022, 8:45 pm, in reply to "Re: So Burned Out!"

I really like your advice.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by Amen on 5/17/2022, 1:44 pm, in reply to "So Burned Out!"

If more administrators would direct the concerns/complaints from parents directly to the the band director concerned, life would be so much simpler and the stress level lower for all concerned. I've loved working with principals and superintendents who had enough trust in my ability to to "put out the fires" without infringing on their domain. This one area could minimize director burnout greatly!

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by NLABD on 5/18/2022, 1:55 pm, in reply to "Re: So Burned Out!"

I had a princpal who did this so maasterfully. I have never felt more supported by a principal than I did with this one.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by Burned to a crisp on 5/17/2022, 10:48 am, in reply to "So Burned Out!"

Next Friday is my last day. The only thing keeping me going is my final concert tomorrow night. Been using sick days as much as I can. I'm actually going to miss the band kids, but not things like counselors who refuse to do their jobs, admin who are overwhelmed and don't care what happens in the band hall, fine arts directors who mandate things on a whim without having the skills to think them through and the overall vibe outside of the band hall. I'm looking forward to retirement.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by MS on 5/18/2022, 7:16 am, in reply to "Re: So Burned Out!"

Sounds like my last job.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by Despise on 5/17/2022, 10:08 am, in reply to "So Burned Out!"

I despised this. And admin would side with them, instead of saying “have you talked with the band director? Yes? Okay I will check in with them and get back to you.” *checks in with band director* Parent didn’t call director. Principals has secretary tell parent to call director. The end. Director calls said ridiculous parent.

That’s how that should go.

One of the MANY reasons why I left teaching all together and will never return, unless it’s completely overhauled.

Use your sick days as someone said. Enjoy!

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by Overhaul? on 5/18/2022, 7:36 am, in reply to "Re: So Burned Out!"

What would you overhaul? All of the research, (and a HUGE push in urban schools with lower SEC students), says to get parents involved. The more involved a parent is with their child's education the better. How would you overhaul the system to keep parents involved but avoid the occasional parent that is clueless? Too many folks have too thin of skin and no conflict resolution ability, (not saying this was you). I'm just curious, for the sake of those still teaching, what a balance might look like for involved parents but not irritating parents sometimes just doing the best they know how.

As a parent, I have been the problem parent for my child's building a few times because the teachers and one particular admin were absolutely NOT doing what was in the best interest of the students in the program, (wasn't band). I had the phone calls and the zoom meetings and a few scathing emails and raised hell, (and got changes made for future years). I am certain two particular people didn't like me much after that month but it was the right thing to do. Sometimes schools are at fault and not the parent. What's the balance?

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by MS on 5/18/2022, 12:29 pm, in reply to "Re: So Burned Out!"

The poster didn't say he didn't want parents involved or to express their issues, just simply not jump a level to resolve an issue.

Some parents feel so entitled and escalate very quickly which undermines the effectiveness and respect of the teacher in the classroom. Positive change happens through appropriate and civil conversations, not through bullying of a teacher and not allowing them a voice in the conversation.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by Overhaul on 5/18/2022, 4:34 pm, in reply to "Re: So Burned Out!"

Not to be picky but they said they would not come back to teaching until there was a complete overhaul while saying one of the many reasons was parents and their communication patterns. So....I read between the lines they don't like parents that push back.

And sometimes the teachers and admin are the bullies and need to be pushed back on after they have had their say. Civil conversation is a two-way street and we are guilty of railroading folks sometimes. That's what happened in my case. The principal and a sponsor completely messed over several students and cost them scholarships. An AP completely admitted they were wrong and put changes in for the next year but that didn't fix the damage done to that group of students.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by Yep on 5/17/2022, 8:35 am, in reply to "So Burned Out!"

Been retired for 3.5 years now. My last day went down in flames for same reasons. Walked out a free man at the end - like a guy walking out of prison.
Having my best life now.

Re: So Burned Out!

Posted by MS on 5/17/2022, 7:20 am, in reply to "So Burned Out!"

Sick Days!

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