Re: How to move on!?!
Posted by The AAA guy on 4/28/2021, 9:02 am, in reply to "How to move on!?!"
About eight years ago I was working in a central Texas town. I had taken over for a very popular director and we got a two on stage and in sight-reading that year. It was not fun to deal with afterward and it left me in a deep depression and fighting imposter syndrome and inner demons. I left that position after the next year (we got sweepstakes, but it didn't matter.) I took over a dream job- one I had been wanting for years. The struggles I fought during that hard year never left me and I carried them to the new job. I didn't stay long there, either. Although we were successful by every metric I never felt good enough and it manifested in a bad mental breakdown and I felt compelled to leave. I've since moved on to be just as successful as I've been everywhere else. Do I feel successful, no. Do I believe I've done enough to earn my success, no. Do I think I'm the worst of the worst in my profession, absolutely. Despite UIL SMC, lots of kids in UIL SSE, consecutive sweepstakes, lots of kids in region band, and on and on. |
I don't have advice for you other than to say do not linger on this. Pick up and move on and learn what you can from your experience. The two I got so many years ago impacted me in ways that are absolutely stupid and any sane person would wonder why.
It was just a moment in a year. Learn and let go and move forward. It doesn't determine what kind of person you are and it doesn't make you a bad director.
I've overheard so many people in our profession ridicule others for low ratings without knowing what struggles might be hindering success. I don't hang out with other band directors- ever; not even on my staff. We work and we go home. I don't want to talk about band outside of work because it inevitably leads to talking about others and I can't do that. I used to be that way and I've learned lessons there.
Love yourself as best you can and do what we do best- teach students. Continue to learn and grow as a human being and as an educator.
It was just a moment. There will be so many more wonderfully brilliant and successful times in your career. Look ahead.