There are a lot of people who are really good on their horns, have a lot of experience in DCI, etc., and very knowledgeable in their craft....that have NO business teaching. We can all think of a couple of people who fall into that category.
Going by what you've told us, I'm afraid your ABD also fits into this category.
It's not just the caustic approach to his interactions with the kids--which to me is the most pressing issue--but when he undercuts your authority as HD it seems to me that he doesn't wan't to "get along"...he holds you in low regards, regardless what he is telling you to your face; look at his actions.
If you haven't already been doing so, start documenting what this guy is doing, the actions you have taken to help them, and the results of said action. The more you have on paper, the better your chances that the next time you speak with your assistant principal you can say, "we need to get rid of this guy". Yes, you do need to get rid of him...the way he's interacting with the kids is going to start driving them away, if it hasn't started already. I wouldn't worry too much about approaching the ABD about the issue of being NR'd...that's your administration's job to do that. By all means ask to be in the room when they do that, but let them do all the talking.
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