What customers? You probably mean tax payers, but that's not the same and you know that.

Absolutely will the admin listen to your hiring suggestions. You probably get to pick THE assistant director and that is good.

Scenario:
You hire me. Certainly I like what you're doing, or I wouldn't have chosen to sign the district's contract (that has your name nowhere on it btw), so I would absolutely make time to help make the program better.

But, if you decide to be mean about the fact that I have kids to pick up and a family to be with, I don't have to change, and my job is not in jeopardy. Besides, what am I going to do, allow strangers to pick up my kid? Bring the kid back to the band hall to interrupt things? Go back in time and not have a kid? Quit band directing because I have a kid? Pay for extra after hour day care? These are problems for parents, but you shouldn't need to have a child to clock out.

Speaking of pay, here's a thought experiment. Take the stipend you earn and take the stipend THE assistants earn. Are they the same since we do the same hours? Would you be able to itemize the stipends to reflect the work and hours put in? Does the stipend change when you add more contests, rehearsals, performances and "duties as assigned"? Why not?

What about indoor percussion/winter guard/indoor winds/mariachi/jazz bands?! Are all directors expected to be at every rehearsal and performance? I WOULD expect all the head directors to be at all events and rehearsals, or is that not fair/feasible for some reason? Do stipends reflect these different "duties as assigned"?

After hours time is an opportunity, not a requirement, especially if it's for something that can be done during conference period (which along with a 30 minute duty free lunch is an obligation your school must make by law, know your rights!)