I can't sleep. I can't stop eating. My mind is CONSTANTLY singing all of the tunes we work on day in day out. I can't escape it. It's driving me insane. I'm always thinking about all of the problems with our job and how I've begun to have an extreme distaste for it over the years. I don't have the personal satisfaction with teaching I was had. I go to bed around 3:30am most days because my mind just won't shut off. I can be completely exhausted, but if my brain won't shut off, I can't sleep. I can't tell if it is a suck it up situation, that it'll get better, even though I have felt for years with each year getting progressively worse. Or if I need to move on in careers. My mind set is always that of looking toward the future. With everything going on in the world and our job, I'm scared to death. Like, serious anxiety attacks. I don't feel like I have anyone to explain this to who either understands enough to tell me to get over it or tell me it's time to move on. The thought of moving on scares me. What if I can't support my family financially? What if it's not what I really want and I can't come back to teaching? I don't know how to fix this or come up with rational thoughts. I don't have friends outside of work. I don't have kids of my to distract me from the day to day.

If anyone has helpful advice please let me know.