I am talking about Band. We CAN actually teach the qualities that I described. I've done it for 36 years and my #1 mentor did it for over 40 years.
My best playing ensembles were well-grounded in the elements that I listed. Some students on Day 1 showed up absolutely perfect, others not so much. But the vast majority became way better people than when they first arrived in our bandhalls.
I am not professing that mom or dad be replaced, I profess using music as a vehicle to helping kids become well-rounded young adults.
And yes, we did Honor Band finals, Sweepstakes, region/area/state band and jazz ensemble, Solo & Ensemble, State Solo & Ensemble, etc. Also, 19 former students are currently band directors in Texas. It was 20, but one decided to become a realtor!!