The difficulty is that NONE OF THOSE PEOPLE are snobbish or mean-spirited about it. You're GOING to get more jobs if you have references from major directors. But I haven't had a single interaction with anyone like that where they actively belittled me or my situation. Networking is key - that's WHY you go to TMEA and TBA. Meet people, don't just hang out with your college buddies. Show up to region meetings, ask good questions, offer to help, and volunteer. That's how you get noticed.
Part of the problem is that people expect to have equal chances to win the "big" jobs without putting in the work. Like it or not, MS assistant and 2nd assistant HS director are our entry level positions. You have to show you can do the work and do the networking to move up. IMO if you're lucky enough to get a HBD position right out of college, you're going to be in a sub-par situation quality-wise AND/OR you're going to be in a sub-par location for starting a family.
Now, in some cases, there is an inherent bias in where you went to school, too, and IMO that's the biggest stumbling block. I know of some FAD and building supervisors that won't even interview someone if they went to certain universities because "they won't fit our standard here" or "they don't have the right kind of experience." As if going to a school that does corps style marching inherently disqualifies them from knowing how to teach military, or vice versa, or throw in show style for good measure.
Conversely, they WILL interview someone from "the right college" even if they have a sub-par resume because they have the right name on the sheepskin.
That's not a good old boy system so much as it is inherent bias, though.