Before I got this job, I interviewed for JH only jobs. I was in the same boat. When I landed here, I changed the after school demand…without changing the rehearsal demand.
Mondays are my late days, so I try to stick all of the extra work I have built up…paperwork, entries, Purchase orders, copying music on Mondays. Thursday, I leave at 4:15 no matter what. I spend that afternoon with my kids and my wife works late if she has to that day to do the same. It sounds lame, but I literally schedule my time with my kids and treat it like it’s something that can’t be rescheduled. I also try to schedule date nights without the kids at least twice a month.
No, you’re not being selfish. My goal has been to take a band to state marching contest without getting myself divorced in the process. It’s a real struggle. My advice is to not wait until it becomes a problem and start putting your family first, because it’s obviously important to you.