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Re: Is it normal to feel this way?
I've been a successful teacher for a long time. Lots of all of the awards that go along with it. Do I think I'm a terrible teacher? Yes. Everyday. I know exactly when it happened, too- and I've never recovered from it. I've recently made a huge life change- moving from HS to MS. I feel even worse now. If there is a moment in my life where I dont need to feel like I'm doing a thing right- it's now. But, we're on track and ahead of other groups based on an observation I had this week. Do I still think I'm not doing well? Yes. Everyday; and it's draining my energy and desire to continue on. But, I have good days where things lock in well and days when they don't and thats normal, but as a band director I've developed this mentality that I MUST BE PERFECT ALL OF THE TIME. That comes from hanging around other band directors who talk about others in ways that would make you angry. We do this to ourselves. I don't hear about this in the private sector as much as I do in music education.
I dont have advice for you other than to say that you're not alone and what you're feeling is very real. Keep doing what you're doing- it's likely that others aren't even thinking about you or if they are, they think you're doing a great job.