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Re: Is it normal to feel this way?
This is called imposter syndrome. Look it up and research it. I have it too. Except im the head band director. Yikes! I always think that admin is judging me negatively every time a student has to be disciplined or plays a wrong note. I always have in my head an imaginary director critiquing my every word, rehearsal procedure, etc every day of every period. It is hard to get past. But I found once I did research and figured out how to manage it, it has become way better.
My admin and community is behind us 100% and always tell me how great the band is and doing. Also have a track record of success that proves I am not the worst director ever. Yet I still wake some days thinking I am the worst.
(Side note: I know this may sound weird, but what is the HD love language? I know you're not married, but they may struggle with 'words' portion. I know I do. I have to work every day to let my staff know they are doing a great job. )