My children come with me to all band events. It has never been an issue in any school I have taught at.
Maybe it is time we change our thinking about this profession and what we decide to put ourselves through all in the name of "its part of the job"
There are too many stories of divorces and parents not being around for their kids and family because of this profession.
I don't have an answer for it but I have to believe there is a better answer or a better way than "You knew what you were signing up for when you took this job"
It seems like today, to be a good band director, you have to decide if you want a job or you want a family.